JEWels

Steve Zeitlin is the author or coauthor of several award-winning books on America’s folk culture, including Because God Loves Stories: An Anthology of Jewish Storytelling and The Poetry of Everyday Life: Storytelling and the Art of Awareness. He coproduced the storytelling series American Talkers for NPR’s Weekend Edition Sunday and Morning Edition and is the recipient of the American Folklore Society’s Benjamin Botkin Award for lifetime achievement in public folklore.

"From wry quotes by Gol­da Meier to bawdy 'Abe and Becky' jokes told by seniors and life-rein­forc­ing philo­soph­i­cal humor in the midst of pain, JEW­els delights with sur­prise. There will be some­thing new here for everyone."-Jewish Book Council "I recommend JEWels to anyone interested in Jewish culture in general, and especially to those interested in its rich folklore. . . . The commentaries, alongside the "jewels" themselves, make for lessons one might never forget-that there is beauty even in terrible situations, laughter to be found in all aspects of life, and that stories reminding us of these facts might be more relevant now than ever before."-Journal of Folklore Research "These poems made me laugh, cry or nod with acknowledgment to the wisdom offered. . . . Zeitlin notes that he hopes to give readers a chance to experience a wide range of Jewish perspectives on the world. In that, he has definitely succeeded."-Reporter "Perfect addition to any poetry collections as well as collections with Jewish story and or joke anthologies."-Association of Jewish Libraries Reviews “Steve Zeitlin is a national treasure who celebrates the voices of everyday life. Wise, funny, and poignant, his book JEWels brings Judaism to life in short bursts of words that explode off the page and infuse our hearts with light and truth.”-Dave Isay, founder of StoryCorps “I could not put this book down. JEWels is brilliant, intelligent, well researched, and has heart. It’s an immersive experience in which the whole is greater than the sum of the parts, but the parts are what matter, each jewel standing on its own.”-Amy Shuman, professor in the Department of English at Ohio State University and author of Other People’s Stories “JEWels is a unique, humorous, and sensitive link in the chain of Jewish storytelling, humor, and commentary.”-Rabbi Moshe Waldoks, coeditor of The Big Book of Jewish Humor

• AcknowledgmentsIntroduction: The Ancient Living Tradition of Jewish Jokes and StoriesThe ParrotTraditional joke retold by Zev ShankenThe Face of a Human BeingAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a story by Rabbi Edward Schecter, based on an old midrashHolocaust JokesContemporary joke retold by Zev ShankenExcerpt from “We Tell”By Cherie Karo-Schwartz1. JEWels . . . in StoriesNow the StoryAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a tale by Rabbi Nachman of BreslovStories            Adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a story by Edgar HilsenrathTales              Lined out from an inscription in Elie Wiesel’s Souls on FireThe Lubavitcher Rebbe on StoriesBy Esther CohenBurning the ScrollsAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a tale retold by Rabbi Edward SchecterA Table with PeopleBy Marc Kaminsky2. JEWels . . . on a JourneyParadiseAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a traditional tale retold by Rabbi Edward SchecterThe Guru        Contemporary joke retold by Steve ZeitlinMameloshen  By Steve ZeitlinBubba Truth   Adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a traditional tale retold by Jane YolenTraveler’s PrayerBy Rabbi Sheila Peltz Weinberg3. JEWels . . . from the Old CountryThe Sabbath FishAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from Cherie Karo Schwartz’s version of Jewish folklore from Eastern Europe and Yemen and earlier version from the Babylonian TalmudThe Magic ShipAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from Howard Schwartz’s telling of a folktale in the Israel Folktale ArchivesTales of the RazbashBy Zev ShankenThe Rabbis’ ConvocationTraditional tale retold by Robert J. BernsteinThe Sweeper  Traditional jokeThe Shammes: A ResponseAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from Rabbi Edward Schecter’s retelling of “The Sweeper”Once Upon a Time in the Old CountryAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a traditional tale retold by Rabbi David HoltzThe HunchbackTraditional tale retold by Zev Shanken and Steve ZeitlinA Cold Ass    Adapted by Steve Zeitlin from an interview with Sylvia ColeAn Offspring’s AnswerAdapted by Peninnah Schram and Steve Zeitlin from The Memoirs of GlÜckel of HamelnThe Cart         Adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a summer camp story told by Rabbi David HoltzBlessing the New Moon in WintertimeAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from the poem by Rachel Ray Lehrer FaustThe Rabbi and the BalagolaTraditional folktale retold by Steve ZeitlinElijah             Adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a traditional tale told by Amy Shuman, based on a telling by Dov NoyParable of the HorseAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a retelling by Jack TepperWho Said the Jews Killed Jesus?Adapted by Steve Zeitlin from an oral history by Baruch LumetThe Hasid      Traditional jokeA Nineteenth-Century Hasid Contemplates the Modern WorldLined out from a story about the teachings of Abraham Yaakov of Sagadora, as recounted by Martin BuberPhilosophy with NoodlesTraditional joke retold by Peninnah SchramThe Rooster PrinceAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a traditional tale attributed to Rabbi Nachman of BreslovPublishing      Lined out from a traditional tale by Rebbe Menachem-Mendel of Kotzk, as retold by Elie WieselThe Teller of TalesTraditional tale retold by Rabbi Edward Schecter and Marc KaminskyThe Temples RiseAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a tale retold by storyteller Roslyn Bresnick-PerryConversations over a Glass TeaTraditional tale retold by Peninnah SchramFresh Rolls and ButterBy Zev Shanken, inspired by the short story “Bontshe Shvayg” by I. L. PeretzHow We Lived: A Tribute to Mayer KirshenblattAdapted by Steve Zeitlin and Marc Kaminsky from They Called Me Mayer July by storyteller and painter Mayer Kirshenblatt and Barbara Kirshenblatt-Gimblett4. JEWels . . . in JokesPassementerieTraditional tale adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a telling by Jack TepperTelling Jokes in the ShtetlTraditional jokeMy Mother Liked Telling JokesBy Esther CohenTaxi                Traditional jokeEinstein’s Theory of RelativityTraditional jokeSchwartz        Traditional jokeAbe and BeckyTraditional joke adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a retelling by Herb ShoreThe Theater   Traditional joke adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a retelling by Herb ShoreThe Perfect GirlTraditional jokeTwo Old Jews at a UrinalTraditional jokeTime Stamp   Traditional jokeThe Plotkin DiamondTraditional jokeRich Man       Traditional jokeGolda             Traditional joke retold as a clever comeback by Golda MeirThe CommandmentsTraditional joke adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a telling by Rubin LevinePerfect           Traditional joke retold by Peninnah SchramToyota            Traditional jokeWorry            Traditional taleThe Summum BonumTraditional joke adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a retelling by Abe LassZoom             By Marc WallaceSelf-Critique  By SparrowJewish Mother TelegramTraditional joke retold by Zev ShankenA Freudian AnalysisAttributed to, among others, Julia Sweeney, who wrote a book with this titleJewish MothersTraditional jokeTwenty YearsTraditional jokeSeven Differences between a Joke and a PoemBy Zev ShankenOptimism/PessimismTraditional joke5. JEWels . . . from TorahThe TsimtsumBy Rabbi Edward SchecterRabbi Simon SaidAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a midrash in the name of Rabbi Simon JacobsonHillel and ShammaiTraditional tale retold by Rabbi Edward SchecterWhat I Would Tell Adam and EveBy Francine WitteThe Original Adam and EveAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a story in Howard Schwartz’s Tree of SoulsThe Birth of MemoryBy Steve ZeitlinEnough!         Contemporary tale retold by Rabbi Edward SchecterThe Razbash Describes God’s TestBy Zev ShankenThe Prophet   Traditional tale retold by Rabbi Edward SchecterMoses and the SuperheroBy Jack SantinoRabbi Hayim Vital Dreams of MosesAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a traditional tale in Howard Schwartz’s Tree of SoulsMiriam’s Wandering WellAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a traditional taleLamb’s BloodBy Steve ZeitlinA Rabbinical Love PoemBy Zev ShankenTwelve Rabbis Went to a PartyBy Annie LanzillottoThe Lamed VavniksBy Arthur Strimling6. JEWels . . . Shaped by the HolocaustTickling the CorpseBy Steve ZeitlinHolocaust JokesContemporary joke retold by Zev ShankenIt Is Raining on the House of Anne FrankBy Linda PastanRiding with the MoonAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a true story by Roslyn Bresnick-PerryLast Supper in the Krakow GhettoAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from oral testimonies by survivors of the Krakow ghetto uprisingHovering above the PitAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a tale retold by Yaffa EliachIn the Janowska Street GhettoAdapted by Marc Kaminsky from a story retold by Yaffa EliachThe Twig       Adapted by Steve Zeitlin from RenÉe Fodor Schwarz’s memoir RenÉeIn Memory of Those Who Died in Vain in the HolocaustExcerpted from a poem by RenÉe Fodor SchwarzForgotten Acts of CourageAdapted by Steve Zeitlin and Marc Kaminsky from Alex Borstein’s Emmy acceptance speechRachelBy Linda PastanDeath Train    Lined out from AndrÉ Schwartz-Bart’s The Last of the JustKaddish in the Boxcar of DeathBy Aaron Zeitlin, translated by Morris M. FaiersteinFace in the MirrorAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a true story by Boris Blum, retold by Toby Blum-Dobkin7. JEWels . . . in Glimpses of Jewish American LivesRummage      By Marc KaminskyYiddishe Mama during World War IILined out from the essay “The Healing Power of Jokes” by Alter Yisrael Shimon FeuermanPlucking the ChickenAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a traditional joke retold by Abe LassGetting DressedBy Steve ZeitlinNo More BirthdaysBy Hal SirowitzA Short History of Judaic Thought in the Twentieth CenturyBy Linda PastanAt a Bungalow in the RockawaysTraditional jokeTradition!      Traditional jokeJewish and GoyishAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a routine by Lenny BruceThe Great Trick Is to Know Who You AreLined out from Jackie Mason’s Broadway show The World According to MeSkin Check    By Esther CohenIt Reminds Me of Those Old JokesTraditional jokeThe Rabbi      By Barbara Kirshenblatt-GimblettReflection      By Zev ShankenTrue Story      By Carol KlenfnerTo Kvell or Not to KvellAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a traditional joke retold by Rabbi Edward SchecterThe Free-Yarmulke BinBy Steve ZeitlinThe Kiss         By Mark SolomonThe Driver SaidBy Robert HershonClara              By Steve ZeitlinAlicia             By Steve ZeitlinSally               Adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a true story told by Anita NagerMoishe Said   Adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a story by Jack KugelmassAbraham Joshua Heschel Goes to SelmaBy Steve Zeitlin, quoting Abraham Joshua Heschel8. JEWels . . . in Jewish FoodsThe Bagel      By David IgnatowThe Fish         By Lila ZeigerHappiness      Lined out from a recollection by Moishe SacksA Jewish Blessing Sung When Placing the Bread in the OvenAnonymousThe Atheist    By Steve ZeitlinThe Jews and Chinese FoodTraditional jokeThe Jewish WaiterTraditional jokeThe Strudel    Traditional jokeAging ParentsBy Marc WallaceThe Schtup     Adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a tale by Lisa LipkinFresh Fish Sold HereTraditional joke retold by Cherie Karo SchwartzHow to Make BlintzesTraditional joke retold by Cherie Karo Schwartz2nd Avenue KosherBy Dennis J. Bernstein and Warren LehrerFrom “The Whole Soul”By Philip Levine9. JEWels . . . in Conversations with GodThe Messiah #1Lined out from Michael Gold’s Jews without MoneyThe Messiah #2Traditional jokeCloser            By Aaron Zeitlin, translated by Morris M. FaiersteinWrestling with GodBy Bob MankoffSomebody Up There Likes MeTraditional joke retold by Bob MankoffIt’s All RelativeTraditional joke retold by Peninnah SchramTevye the Milkman SaidLined out from the story “Tevye Strikes It Rich” by Sholem AleichemMy Aunt’s Ninetieth BirthdayAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a quip by Ann KatzThe Tailor’s PrayerTraditional taleA Pair of PantsTraditional taleThe Do-Over  By Steve Zeitlin, inspired by a conversation with Richard RabinowitzThe dna in My Coffee-A True StoryAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from the story “God and dna over Coffee” by Lisa LipkinDeconstructing HeavenAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a tale retold by Rabbi Avraham WeissLevi Yitzhak Burns the EvidenceTraditional taleSix Lines        By Aaron Zeitlin, translated by Robert FriendTo the RescueTraditional jokeLifeline          Traditional tale10. JEWels . . . on the Meaning of LifeThe Meaning of MeaningBy Bob HolmanWho Knows? Adapted by Flash Rosenberg from one of her father’s favorite jokesHineni            By Flash RosenbergThe Angel of DeathAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from an essentially true story in Howard Schwartz’s Tree of SoulsThe Land        Adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a traditional taleIf Not Higher!Adapted by Steve Zeitlin from the short story “If Not Higher!” by I. L. PeretzTime All at OnceAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a story by Caroline HarrisSoul Sight      Adapted by Marc Kaminsky and Steve Zeitlin from Howard Schwartz’s Tree of SoulsThe Burning TwigAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a traditional tale retold by Robert J. BernsteinOy                  Lined out from a spontaneous observation by Eli LevineThe PhilosopherTraditional jokeLife                Traditional jokeThe Razbash on Old AgeBy Zev ShankenDoctor, DoctorAdapted by Steve Zeitlin from a traditional joke retold by Doris KirshenblattYizkor            By Zev ShankenThe Razbash on ForgivenessBy Zev ShankenThe Womb     Traditional tale retold by Rabbi Edward SchecterMoishe’s WisdomLined out from Moishe Sacks’s comments in The Grand Generation documentary (1993)The Angel of ForgetfulnessLined out from Dara Horn’s novel The World to ComeThe Laughing ManLined out from Elie Wiesel’s Souls on Fire, based on writings attributed to Rabbi Nachman of BreslovWiesel’s ResponseLined out from Elie Wiesel’s Souls on FireThe Fiftieth GateLined out from a passage by Rabbi Boruch of Medzhybizh, as recounted by Martin BuberWhitewater RapidsAdapted by Marc Kaminsky and Steve Zeitlin from the story “Whitewater” by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-ShalomiThe Ring        Adapted by Marc Kaminsky and Steve Zeitlin from a traditional taleThe Beautiful QuestionTraditional tale retold by Steve ZeitlinLost in the WoodsTraditional tale retold by Peninnah SchramShmuel Discovers a Purpose in LifeTraditional tale retold by Rabbi Edward SchecterCoda   Traditional tale retold by Rabbi Edward SchecterConcerto        Adapted by Steve Zeitlin from a traditional tale retold by Rabbi Eli Rubenstein11. Final ThoughtsQuestions for DiscussionSource AcknowledgmentsNotesBibliographyCommentator BiographiesIndex