Mediator's Handbook

Dr. Jennifer E. Beer, PhD, combines mediation experience with her cultural anthropology background to lead courses and workshops in mediation, conflict resolution, and cross-cultural communication. She regularly teaches a negotiation course at Wharton (University of Pennsylvania). Author of the Mediator's Handbook and of Peacemaking in Your Neighborhood, she has mediated conflicts and facilitated meetings for communities and organizations for 30 years. She lives in Pennsylvania.Caroline C. Packard, JD, is an organizational change and conflict response specialist and mediator with 30 years' experience in the field. A graduate of Yale College and NYU School of Law, and a former corporate litigator with extensive formal training in individual and group psychology, Caroline has a special interest in the evolutionary psychology of group conflict and cooperation. She provides mediation and conflict-resolution services and training to organizations, families, and family businesses. She lives in the United StatesEileen Stief developed the mediation process and principles documented in The Mediator's Handbook, and trained a generation of mediators to work with community, multi-party, and environmental disputes. Now retired, she led the Friends Conflict Resolution Program's experiment in community dispute settlement and later specialized in environmental mediation. She lives in the United States.Elizabeth Elwood Gates provided the delightful cartoon illustrations in honor of her aunt, Ann Richan, who was a passionate champion of community mediation.

"Can you really make the classic book in its field even better? In this book, authors Jennifer Beer and Caroline Packard prove that, when it comes to mediation, the answer is a resounding "Yes!" This new edition of The Mediator's Handbook provides new tools, new scripts, and new frameworks that will assist experienced practitioners and novices alike. Based on up-to-date research foundations from anthropology, psychology, and behavioral neuroscience, the authors take us by the hand and lead us step-by-step through the mediation process, suggesting concrete strategies to help people in conflict work through difficult emotions to actionable ideas for resolving their disputes. Bravo!"— G. Richard Shell, Thomas Gerrity Professor of Legal Studies and Business Ethics at the Wharton School of Business and author of Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People"The fourth edition of The Mediator's Handbook continues to improve upon everything that made the original edition a success: user-friendly explanations for every step of the mediation process, starting with what mediation is, to dealing with the most difficult situations that can arise in the course of a dispute. While the Handbook presents itself as being for mediators, those who should have a copy of the Handbook on their shelf include lawyers representing clients in litigation, human resources executives, managers of complex international infrastructure projects, or school counselors dealing with difficult teenagers. In short, The Mediator's Handbook is a comprehensive and practical guide for anyone who regularly deals with conflict."— Michael McIlwrath, co-author of International Arbitration and Mediation:A Practical Guide, and host of the podcast "International Dispute Negotiation""Plenty of mediation books will give you the kind of language ordinary mediators use - the same language we are used to hearing from other helping professions, such as lawyers, and therapists. What these authors let us in on - is the secret language of outstanding mediators. They generously share hundreds of examples of carefully chosen phrases mediators can use at every step that make the difference between knowing what needs to happen next in mediation, and being able to make it happen."— Hideaki Irei, Associate Professor, Faculty of Law, Kyushu University"The upgrades done to the 4th edition make it a VERY usable manual and I will most definitely recommend it to anyone looking for this kind of manual. When I run my course next year this will be THE manual I have students buy."— Jonathon Rudy, Elizabethtown College, Global Peacemaking Scholar-in-Residence"The Mediator's Handbook is the basic primer for anyone who is seriously interested in resolving conflicts constructively. I have used it in my classroom for the last twenty years.This new edition gives us even more insights and practical suggestions for how to deal with the complexity of disputes in many different kinds of situations. Beer, Packard and Stief are masters in the mediation field and have much to offer us. An essential addition to the current scholarship and practice."— Susan Sgorbati, Jones Chair for Social Activism, and former Dean of Faculty, Bennington College"The Mediator's Handbook continues to be solid, and speaks to the needs of the participants."— Mohammed Abu-Nimer, Ph.D., International Peace and Conflict Resolution, School of International Service, American University

• PrefaceOverviewWhat is mediation?A useful toolWhat makes mediation work?The mediator's roleThe anatomy of the mediation processThe anatomy of a sessionProcess-centered mediationGuiding principlesMediation termsTHE PROCESSGetting to the TableCan mediation help this situation?How people find a mediatorVoluntary or mandatory?Initial conversationsDo they want to participate?Defining the scopeApproaching the other partiesShould I be the mediator?Pre-mediation agreements and reviewChoosing a location The Mediation Session Part I: Exploring the SituationPreparing yourself, co-mediatorsSetting upOpeningOpening: Welcome & warm-upOpening: LogisticsOpening: OrientationOpening: Participants' role, willingnessListening to Each PerspectiveThe ExchangeThe Exchange: FacilitatingThe Exchange: Tasks & flowClarify informationCheck out interpretationsListen for their concernsExample + impactRestate their interestsNote other relevant interestsEncourage empathy and reconciliationTransition to Reaching ResolutionSeparate ConversationsUses for Separate ConversationsBreaking for Separate ConversationsSeparate Conversations: TemplateThe Mediation Session Part II: Reaching ResolutionReaching ResolutionReaching Resolution: SequenceTopic ListTopic List: Why it is crucialTopic List: DraftingTopic List: WordingMidpoint check-inOptionsOptions: Together come up with ideasOptions: Gut, interests, workabilityOptions: Reality testingDecisionsDecisions: Gut, interests, workabilityDecisions: Emotions, hesitationsWriting the AgreementWriting the Agreement: SpecificsWriting the Agreement: Positive framingClosingAfterwards: Wrapping upMultiple sessionsTHE TOOLBOXUnderstanding ConflictDisputes & conflictsMetaphors for understanding conflictThe conflict coreCommon effects of conflictThe pleasures of conflictWhen things heat upThe way out is throughThe Conflict TrianglePeople, Process, ProblemWhich mode are you in?Supporting the PeopleSupporting the people: Main skillsSetting the toneLevel of formality, taking notesConfidentiality in practiceGiving your full attentionElements of full attentionAcknowledgingHandling judgmental remarksProtectingFrom adversarial mode to cooperative modeAvoid this Kettle of FishAttending to comfort & accessibilityLanguage and hearing difficultiesWorking with people in all their varietyFinding commonalitiesScenarios: Emotionally difficult situations 111Facilitating the ProcessFacilitating the processImpartial facilitationStructuring the sessionStructuring the discussionWhen you can be directiveWhen to consultKeeping on trackCrafting questionsCrafting questions: Word with careCrafting questions: Spin it positiveCrafting questions: Follow up for clarificationKinds of rewordingReflecting backSummarizingSummarizing: Its many usesWorking visuallyWhen to interveneWhen to intervene: Stopping the momentumWhen to intervene: Slowing the process downIs it time to quit?Ending a mediationScenarios: Facilitation challengesSolving the ProblemParticipants' starting point: Power & rightsChanging the "positions" mindsetInterestsLayers of interestsWhy interests matterFinding space for solutionsReframingChecking out (mis)interpretationsLies, perceptions, deceptionsPlain description of facts and needsFlip it! ? Outcome-focused interestsTactful wording of interests and topicsSummary of interestsTopic List examplesEliciting ideas: BrainstormingEliciting ideas: Opening up possibilitiesCan mediators suggest options?Visual aids for making decisionsTypes of resolution"Typical" or "good enough" resolutionsWhat-ifsFallbacks: Contingencies, uncertaintiesStep-down agreements: Smaller scopeWhen there's no agreementFinal review: WorkabilityFinal review: FutureSample agreementsScenarios: problem-solving challenges 173Going FurtherGoing furtherAdapting the processMediating with children & teensMediating across generationsMediating family conflictsMediating employee conflictsParticipant evaluationMediator evaluation of a mediationEvaluating yourselfThe Handbook "soup pot"Authors & contributorsOrganizational supportIndex