William F. Cornell maintains an independent private practice of psychotherapy and consultation in Pittsburgh, PA. He had devoted more than 40 years to the study and integration of transactional analysis, psychoanalysis, and somatic psychotherapy. He is a Training and Supervising Transactional Analyst and has established an international reputation for his teaching and consultation.

"This book conveys in a personal voice the emotional experience of being a psychotherapist or a psychoanalyst. Psychoanalysis has mainly been a study of how the patient’s personal history unconsciously shapes the therapeutic relationship over the course of the treatment. Cornell takes another step in focusing on the parallel influence of the therapist’s history within the therapeutic process. Enriching the conceptualization of counter-transference, he stresses the importance of the therapist’s willingness to call their own thoughts and feeling into question in the service of the patient."-Jean-Michel Quinodoz"The many vignettes in this unique and deeply affecting book are personal stories, not illustrations of ideas. The book rides the line between psychoanalysis and psychotherapy, on one hand, and fiction, on the other. For many of us, that is an ideal. It is for me. Cornell’s vital, committed, warm, and funny presence is thoroughly woven into the mix. We learn about him and his own life, but always in the service of the larger purposes of his book. The wisdom and depth of these stories will move you and contribute to your work. What more can we ask?"-Donnel Stern, Ph.D. "Once in a very rare while, a professional book comes along that not only challenges readers intellectually, but touches them emotionally as well. William Cornell knows that it is only by examining the ways in which two vulnerable human beings--therapist and patient-- mutually impact each other that we can we truly understand how psychoanalytic therapy leads to change and growth. In this deeply personal set of essays, the author invites us to accompany him into the treatment room, where he provides a rare and treasured glimpse into the heart and mind of a gifted psychotherapist. This will be a compelling read for therapists at all levels of experience as well as anyone with an interest in what it means to endure and transcend personal struggle."-Steven Kuchuck, DSW, Editor, Clinical Implications of the Psychoanalyst’s Subjectivity: When the Personal Becomes Professional; President, International Association for Relational Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy

• Chapter 1: What Am I Getting Myself Into?Chapter 2: Stumbling in the shadowsChapter 3: Calling one’s self into questionChapter 4: FailureChapter 5: Finding a mind of one’s ownChapter 6: The Therapist’s Body at WorkChapter 7: The Disappeared SelfChapter 8: HauntedChapter 9: When Life and Death Hold HandsChapter 10: Staying alive until the end

William F. Cornell maintains an independent private practice of psychotherapy and consultation in Pittsburgh, PA. He had devoted more than 40 years to the study and integration of transactional analysis, psychoanalysis, and somatic psychotherapy. He is a Training and Supervising Transactional Analyst and has established an international reputation for his teaching and consultation.

"This book conveys in a personal voice the emotional experience of being a psychotherapist or a psychoanalyst. Psychoanalysis has mainly been a study of how the patient’s personal history unconsciously shapes the therapeutic relationship over the course of the treatment. Cornell takes another step in focusing on the parallel influence of the therapist’s history within the therapeutic process. Enriching the conceptualization of counter-transference, he stresses the importance of the therapist’s willingness to call their own thoughts and feeling into question in the service of the patient."-Jean-Michel Quinodoz"The many vignettes in this unique and deeply affecting book are personal stories, not illustrations of ideas. The book rides the line between psychoanalysis and psychotherapy, on one hand, and fiction, on the other. For many of us, that is an ideal. It is for me. Cornell’s vital, committed, warm, and funny presence is thoroughly woven into the mix. We learn about him and his own life, but always in the service of the larger purposes of his book. The wisdom and depth of these stories will move you and contribute to your work. What more can we ask?"-Donnel Stern, Ph.D. "Once in a very rare while, a professional book comes along that not only challenges readers intellectually, but touches them emotionally as well. William Cornell knows that it is only by examining the ways in which two vulnerable human beings--therapist and patient-- mutually impact each other that we can we truly understand how psychoanalytic therapy leads to change and growth. In this deeply personal set of essays, the author invites us to accompany him into the treatment room, where he provides a rare and treasured glimpse into the heart and mind of a gifted psychotherapist. This will be a compelling read for therapists at all levels of experience as well as anyone with an interest in what it means to endure and transcend personal struggle."-Steven Kuchuck, DSW, Editor, Clinical Implications of the Psychoanalyst’s Subjectivity: When the Personal Becomes Professional; President, International Association for Relational Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy

• Chapter 1: What Am I Getting Myself Into?Chapter 2: Stumbling in the shadowsChapter 3: Calling one’s self into questionChapter 4: FailureChapter 5: Finding a mind of one’s ownChapter 6: The Therapist’s Body at WorkChapter 7: The Disappeared SelfChapter 8: HauntedChapter 9: When Life and Death Hold HandsChapter 10: Staying alive until the end

William F. Cornell maintains an independent private practice of psychotherapy and consultation in Pittsburgh, PA. He had devoted more than 40 years to the study and integration of transactional analysis, psychoanalysis, and somatic psychotherapy. He is a Training and Supervising Transactional Analyst and has established an international reputation for his teaching and consultation.

"This book conveys in a personal voice the emotional experience of being a psychotherapist or a psychoanalyst. Psychoanalysis has mainly been a study of how the patient’s personal history unconsciously shapes the therapeutic relationship over the course of the treatment. Cornell takes another step in focusing on the parallel influence of the therapist’s history within the therapeutic process. Enriching the conceptualization of counter-transference, he stresses the importance of the therapist’s willingness to call their own thoughts and feeling into question in the service of the patient."-Jean-Michel Quinodoz"The many vignettes in this unique and deeply affecting book are personal stories, not illustrations of ideas. The book rides the line between psychoanalysis and psychotherapy, on one hand, and fiction, on the other. For many of us, that is an ideal. It is for me. Cornell’s vital, committed, warm, and funny presence is thoroughly woven into the mix. We learn about him and his own life, but always in the service of the larger purposes of his book. The wisdom and depth of these stories will move you and contribute to your work. What more can we ask?"-Donnel Stern, Ph.D. "Once in a very rare while, a professional book comes along that not only challenges readers intellectually, but touches them emotionally as well. William Cornell knows that it is only by examining the ways in which two vulnerable human beings--therapist and patient-- mutually impact each other that we can we truly understand how psychoanalytic therapy leads to change and growth. In this deeply personal set of essays, the author invites us to accompany him into the treatment room, where he provides a rare and treasured glimpse into the heart and mind of a gifted psychotherapist. This will be a compelling read for therapists at all levels of experience as well as anyone with an interest in what it means to endure and transcend personal struggle."-Steven Kuchuck, DSW, Editor, Clinical Implications of the Psychoanalyst’s Subjectivity: When the Personal Becomes Professional; President, International Association for Relational Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy

• Chapter 1: What Am I Getting Myself Into?Chapter 2: Stumbling in the shadowsChapter 3: Calling one’s self into questionChapter 4: FailureChapter 5: Finding a mind of one’s ownChapter 6: The Therapist’s Body at WorkChapter 7: The Disappeared SelfChapter 8: HauntedChapter 9: When Life and Death Hold HandsChapter 10: Staying alive until the end