The Rules of Parenting: A Personal Code for Bringing Up Happy, Confident Children

Richard Templar is the author of the international bestselling Rules books. Over 2 million people around the world have enjoyed and now play by Richard Templar's Rules. The complete list of titles is as follows: The Rules of Life, The Rules of Work, The Rules of Management, The Rules of Wealth, The Rules of Parenting, The Rules of Love, The Rules to Break, The Rules of People, The Rules of Thinking, and The Rules of Living Well.

• Rules for staying sane  1 Relax  2 No one is perfect  3 Be content  4 Know what you're good at  5 Almost any rule can be broken occasionally  6 Don't try to do everything  7 You don't have to follow every piece of advice you get (including this one)  8 It's normal to want to escape  9 You're allowed to hide from your kids  10 Parents are people too  11 Don't ignore your relationship with your partner    Attitude Rules  12 Love is not enough  13 Every recipe needs different ingredients  14 Anything extreme is almost certainly wrong  15 Look pleased to see them  16 Treat your child with respect  17 Enjoy their company  18 It's not about you – it's about them  19 Being tidy isn't as important as you think  20 Good parenting is calculated risk taking  21 Keep your worries to yourself  22 See things from their point of view  23 Parenting is not a competitive sport  24 Never emotionally blackmail them  Everyday Rules  25 Let them get on with it  26 Let them go (wild)  27 Teach them to think for themselves  28 Use praise wisely  29 Make sure they know what's important  30 Show them how to lose  31 Know the value of boundaries  32 Bribery doesn't have to be bad  33 Moods are catching  34 You're setting their eating patterns for life  35 Communicate  36 Set clear targets  37 Don't be a nag  Discipline Rules  38 Present a united front  39 Carrots beat sticks  40 Be consistent  41 Lighten up  42 Focus on the problem, not the person  43 Don't paint yourself into a corner  44 If you lose your temper, you're the loser  45 Apologise if you get it wrong  46 Let them back in  47 The right of expression  Personality Rules  48 Find what incentives work for your child  49 Every child should have something they know they're good at  50 Learn to appreciate the qualities that remind you of someone else  51 Look for the similarities between you  52 Find qualities to admire in them  53 Let them be better than you  54 Their attitude is as important as their achievements  55 Keep your fears and insecurities to yourself  56 Mind your programming  57 Don't try to have a perfect child    Sibling Rules  58 Give them each other  59 Recognize that squabbling is healthy (within reason)  60 Teach them to sort out their own arguments  61 Work as a team  62 Let them entertain each other  63 Never compare children with each other  64 Different children need different rules  65 Don't have a favourite  66 Mix and match  67 Find each child's strengths    School Rules  68 Schooling isn't the same as education  69 School comes as a package  70 Fight your child's corner  71 Bullying is always serious  72 Teach them to stand up for themselves  73 Put up with friends of theirs you don't like  74 Remember you're their parent, not their teacher  75 Don't mollycoddle them  76 Let up the pressure  77 They have to live with their choices (and it's OK)  Teenage Rules  78 Don't panic  79 Remember Newton's Third Law  80 Give them a voice  81 Don't look under the mattress  82 Running round after them doesn't help anybody  83 Don't stand in front of a speeding train  84 Yelling isn't the answer  85 Let them have the last word  86 Everything comes with strings  87 Show some respect for the things they care about  88 Adopt a healthy attitude to sex  Crisis Rules  89 Don't use your kids as ammunition  90 Let them cope in their own way  91 Being younger doesn't necessarily speed everything up  92 The aftershock can last forever  93 Tell them what's going on  94 Teach them to fail successfully  95 It's better to agree than to be right  96 All of your actions speak louder than any of your words  97 Make sure they know they're priority no. 1  98 You can't fix everything    Grown-up Rules    99 Back off  100 Wait until they ask for advice  101 Treat them as adults  102 Don't try to be their best friend  103 Encourage them regardless  104 You can't choose who your children love  105 Leave the strings off  106 Don't guilt-trip them  107 Remember they still need you  108 It's not your fault  109 Once a parent, always a parent  Rules about your parents  1 Don't put them on a pedestal  2 Let them be grandparents  3 Don't ask too much of them  4 Don't guilt-trip them – even by mistake  5 Learn to share  6 They're new to this too  7 Understand that they don't come from the same place as you  8 Any grandparent is better than no grandparent  9 Don't bad-mouth them in front of the kids  10 They love you just like you love your kids