My Child Is Trans, Now What?

Ben V. Greene is a public speaker, LGBTQ+ inclusion consultant, and openly transgender man. Ben has dedicated his career to spreading empathy, awareness, and understanding about the transgender community. He is active on the speaking circuit, with audiences ranging from the UK’s Diversity Live! to NASA. Ben is a guest lecturer on Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at Cornell University in addition to serving on the board of the Tufts Master’s Degree in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. He resides in St. Louis, Missouri.

In this upbeat debut guide, Greene, a trans man and LGBTQ inclusion consultant, offers advice on how cis parents can 'help build supportive homes... for trans young people,' whom Greene calls 'VIPs.' The most important thing parents can do, he suggests, is to 'listen empathetically' and 'accept your VIP as the leading expert on themselves.' Writing for readers with little familiarity with trans issues, Greene provides a rundown of common pronouns and a thorough glossary of such terms as 'cisnormativity,' 'genderqueer,' and 'pansexual.' Recommendations for supporting trans kids include helping them find LGBTQ support groups and setting a routine of 'picking five things you and your VIP like about yourselves today' to counteract 'loops of self-criticism.' Greene also weighs in on how parents can find trans-friendly healthcare providers and help their child navigate coming out at school. Much of the advice focuses on guiding parents as they work through their own feelings. For instance, Greene writes that while 'it’s okay to acknowledge that this may be a new way of looking at the world,' parents should process any conflicted emotions with 'sources other than your VIP.' Greene writes with compassion for trans youth and their parents, ensuring the former feel supported as the latter get up to speed. It’s a pragmatic program for parenting beyond the gender binary.

• INTRODUCTION PART I: THE COMING-OUT PROCESS COMING-OUT BASICS What Does It Mean, and How Do You Respond? “COMING OUT TO MYSELF” Supporting Your VIP through Questioning, Exploration, and Discovery COMING OUT AT HOME Creating a Safe Home Environment and Talking to Family Members COMING OUT IN YOUR COMMUNITY PART II: BUILDING STRONG FOUNDATIONSPROCESSING YOUR FEELINGS PROTECTING YOUR VIP’S MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH FINDING AND LEANING ON YOUR COMMUNITY Where to Find Support MEDICAL TRANSITION FINDING JOY PART III: SUPPORTING TRANS YOUTH IN THE WORLD: WHAT TO EXPECT AND WHAT YOU CAN DO LIVING AS A TRANSGENDER PERSON AND UNDERSTANDING CURRENT STIGMA GOING TO SCHOOL AS A TRANSGENDER PERSON ACCESSING HEALTHCARE AS A TRANSGENDER PERSON LEAVING THE NEST Preparing Your VIP for College, the Workforce, and the World BIGGER THAN US Supporting Trans Youth around the Country CONCLUSION GLOSSARY OF TERMS NOTES BIBLIOGRAPHY ACKNOWLEDGMENTS INDEX ABOUT THE AUTHOR