How to Survive Change You Didn't Ask for

Known internationally as an expert on change, M.J. Ryan works as an executive coach to senior executives and entrepreneurs around the world, helping them accelerate business success and personal fulfillment. She combines a practical approach gained as the CEO of a book publishing company with methodologies from neuroscience, positive psychology, and asset-focused learning to help clients and readers more easily meet their goals. Her client list includes Royal Dutch Shell, Microsoft, Time, the U.S. military, and Aon Hewitt. She's a partner with the Levo League career network and the lead venture coach at SheEO, an organization offering a new funding and support model for female entrepreneurs. She's the founder of Conari Press, creator of the New York Times bestselling Random Acts of Kindness series, and author of many books, including Habit Changers: 81 Game-Changing Mantras to Mindfully Realize Your Goals.

“If you’re struggling and think that one more book can’t possibly make a difference, think again. M.J. Ryan has the rare gift of breaking things down into clear pieces that can be tackled.”—Laura Berman Fortgang, author of Now What?: 90 Days to a New Life Direction“You are always more resilient than you think. In her motivational and optimistic book, M.J. Ryan shows you how to face the unexpected and use what you’ve learned to be happier in life, in love, and at work.”—Nell Merlino, leader of Make Mine a Million $ Business and author of Stepping Out of Line“The change you didn’t ask for has a way of smacking you between the eyes. M.J. Ryan’s book teaches us how we can get through the pain more quickly and extract greater meaning from the nonnegotiable events of life.”—Ellyn Spragins, author of What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self“How to Survive Change You Didn’t Ask For is not only M.J. Ryan’s best book, but the most accessible and practical book yet on the subject of change to date. It contains a compendium of best practices from cross-sector disciplines and research regarding transition and change in our lives. Nowhere will you find a more inspirational, realistic, comforting and accessible book that reduces fear and reopens possibility, curiosity, and creative solutions unimagined during the most challenging of times!”—Angeles Arrien, PhD, cultural anthropologist and author of The Second Half of Life and Living in Gratitude“What if someone could whisper in your ear the secret to feeling more peaceful, more confident, more emotionally secure, more aligned with your values, more capable of taking risks, and more comfortable in your skin? Wouldn’t that be amazing?! This book is that whisper! Mary Jane Ryan's How to Survive Change You Didn't Ask For will get you through ANYTHING. You’ll learn how to set new boundaries, take bold leaps, trust your gut, create your own rules, and so much more.”—Sherry Richert Belul, author of Say It Now and founder of Simply Celebrate “Insightful, honest and refreshingly pragmatic. M.J. Ryan skillfully cuts through the noise of the guru help category and provides a hugely practical way to help yourself. This is the right book for right now.” —Jonathan Pease, author of Winning the Room“When life changes are planned and thought out, we are filled with optimism and excitement for what the future may bring. However, when that change is unexpected or imposed, we are often wrought with anxiety and worry. M.J. Ryan’s tools, as set out in her How to Survive Change You Didn't Ask For provides a thoughtful and simple resource to help each of us navigate life’s unexpected changes.” —Julie and David Bulitt, authors of Secrets of Strong Couples and cohosts of Conversations for Couples - The Podcast“M.J. Ryan’s new book, How to Survive Change You Didn't Ask For, is the manual none of us received when we came down the chute. It’s the playbook, the bible, the encyclopedia we need now. In it, she offers the recipe to help us develop the skillset we need in a world that is morphing and changing faster than ever before. With the tools she offers, we can do more than hang on for dear life. We can thrive!” —Nita Sweeney, mindfulness coach and bestselling author of Depression Hates a Moving Target

• ContentsI. Welcome to “Permanent White Water”II. Seven Truths About ChangeChange Truth #1: Change Is the One Thing You Can Count OnChange Truth #2: It’s Not PersonalChange Truth #3: Your Thinking Is Not Always Your FriendChange Truth #4: Change Isn’t the Enemy, Fear IsChange Truth #5: There’s a Predictable Emotional Cycle to ChangeChange Truth #6: You’re More Resilient Than You May ThinkChange Truth #7: Your Future Is Built on a Bedrock That Is UnchangingIII. The Actions of a Change MasterStep 1: Accept the ChangeGather the Facts Like a Newspaper ReporterWhat Other Information Do You Need?The Truth Will Set You Free (Or at Least into Motion)If You Can See It, It’s Yours to Deal WithHow Could This Be Good Luck?“Worry Well”What Core Issue Does This Trigger?Relate to Your FearSend Out an SOSRecognize If You’re MillingIt’s Good to Bitch and Moan but Not ForeverGet the 3Cs in PlaceChoose Carefully Where You Put Your AttentionAvoid Shame by Remembering That Difficulties Can Happen to AnyoneDon’t Waste Precious Time or Energy on BlameRegret WellExperience the Comfort of ForgivenessDo the Three BlessingsCultivate Your Witness SelfStay Open to MiraclesFind the Gift in the ChangeStep 2: Expand Your OptionsWhat Helps You Expand Your Thinking?How Does Your Self-Concept Need to Change?Seek Information Outside Your BoxHedge Your BetsKill Your Little DarlingsTap Into Your Inner ResourcesWhat Other Resources Are Available?Be Like the Native AmericansCreate the Necessary ReservesDon’t Go into the Wilderness Without Your CompassWhat Are Your Inner Talents?Reexamine Your PrioritiesEnvision Your Next ChapterWho Do You Need by Your Side?Watch the Road, Not the PotholesStep 3: Take ActionCreate a Story of PossibilityMake Deposits into Your Hope AccountHope Is Not a PlanGet the Balls in the AirThink Through the ImplicationsJust Do One ThingReady, Fire, AimEvaluate ProgressIf You’re Not Stretching, You’re Probably Missing SomethingDo What’s Needed Build Your BrandGet More ConnectedCreate a Change Masters CircleUse an Inspiring Mantra to Keep Up Your SpiritsFocus on the Upside of Scaling BackAllow Your Circumstances to Open Your HeartStep 4: Strengthen AdaptabilityBecome a Lifelong LearnerReflect on Your LearningsIV. Twenty Quick Tips for Surviving Change You Didn’t Ask ForV. Resources for More SupportFor Personal Support from MeAbout the Author