Naw First Minister

ALLAN MORRISON is a prolific author; whose previous books include the popular Goannae No Dae That and Haud Ma Chips, Ah’ve Drapped the Wean! These books combine his three passions: humour, nostalgia and Glasgow. For ‘Naw First Minister’ he has undertaken extensive research from the public galleries of the Scottish Parliament and elsewhere. Alan Morrison’s media appearances include The One Show and The Fred MacAulay Show. He is involved in charity work, after-dinner speaking and is a member of his local Rotary club. Allan enjoys hillwalking, sport and travel. He and his wife live the West of Scotland and he is the proud grandfather of four grandchildren.

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• Contents Acknowledgements 6Preface 7Scottish Parliament Characters in Naw First Minister 8 Introduction 11 Chapter 1 In the Beginning was the Word 17 Chapter 2 Big Nellie’s Inaugural Speech as First Minister 37 Chapter 3 Squeaky Bum Time! 43 Chapter 4 Go Ahead, Make My Day! 69 Chapter 5 The Investigation 81Chapter 6 On Desert Island Discs 91 Chapter 7 A Working Majority 115 Chapter 8 Dirty Pool 129 Chapter 9 Love and the Royals 139 Chapter 10 Intrigue 149Chapter 11 Exposed! 157 Chapter 12 Hold the Front Page! 173 BBC News Bulletin 179Chapter 13 How the Scottish Parliament Actually Operates 181 Further Big Nellie ‘Whollyrude’ observations 187