Waking Up in the Dark Night of Divorce

LiYana Silver is a coach and teacher who helps women (and their partners) get out of crisis, move through heartbreak, break repeating patterns, reclaim what was lost, and rebuild selves, lives, and relationships that are luminous with love. She is the author of Feminine Genius: The Provocative Path to Waking Up and Turning On the Wisdom of Being a Woman. She dances regularly and sometimes paints in oils, making home with her son, their cats, and a frankly impressive number of houseplants. Visit her at liyanasilver.com.

“Few soul-guides have dared to harness perennial wisdom teachings to help us navigate one of the most excruciating yet common experiences of our lives: the end of an intimate relationship.In this accessible, lyrical, and practical book, LiYana Silver engages her considerable skills of intelligence, insight, tenderness, and even humor to connect us to something luminous at the heart of our heartbreak. She does not suggest that what got you here is good news; rather, she meets you in the darkness and begins to point out the fruits that can only ripen when your soul gives up trying to solve the human predicament.As a translator of the 16th century mystical masterpiece Dark Night of the Soul, I applaud LiYana Silver’s invitation to enter the radiant darkness of divorce and allow it to have its transformative way with you.Love itself is waiting on the other side of this ferocious initiation.”—Mirabai Starr, translator of Dark Night of the Soul and author of Wild Mercy and Ordinary Mysticism“This book is a fiercely compassionate and beautifully written guide to help us turn towards our heartbreak and let it reshape us.As a fellow explorer of dark nights of the soul, I appreciate LiYana for being unafraid to go deep. I found myself (or a friend, colleague, or client) in one or more of the stories—which helps us make sense of our own journeys and find our strength to get through them.Most spiritual, growth-oriented seekers know in theory that we mustn't bypass the most difficult pains and challenges. But LiYana shows us, through practices and real-life examples, how to move from theory into action and do our exacting, demanding, and deeply fruitful inner work.Often, the ordeal is the opportunity for transformation. This book is that map.”—Britta Eskey, author of Initiations in Love“With wisdom, candor, and remarkable emotional precision, LiYana Silver explores one of life's most painful transitions. She neither minimizes the devastation of divorce nor rushes toward redemption. Instead, she illuminates the difficult terrain between an ending and whatever comes next.She manages to provide both validation and hope: you’re not making up how bad this is (it’s bad). You’re not the only one (you’re in good company). And you’re not just being undone, you’re also being remade. This book reframes divorce as not just something you survive, but one of the bravest, most transformative passages of your life.For those of us who don’t know what to do or say to a friend in a dark night of heartbreak, now we can show up with a hot beverage, an offer to talk or not talk, and an ear-marked copy of this book.”—Sarah Ramey, author of The Lady’s Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness“LiYana doesn't let you skip the hard parts, and somehow, you're grateful for it.This book creates genuine space for the grief, rage, shame, and darkness that most of us are desperate to get around. The cliché says, "the only way out is through," but LiYana takes it further: there is no "out," exactly. There is becoming. And who you become is catalyzed by exactly this kind of loss, if you're willing to stay with it.She writes from experience, not theory, and that difference is everything. She doesn't position herself above the wreckage, pointing down with a clipboard. She's in it with you—steady, soulful, unflinching—walking alongside as you face the self you've outgrown to meet the one ready to begin. Reading this felt like being held and challenged at the same time. Like someone finally gave your darkness a name, a shape, a purpose—and then sat with you in it rather than rushing you toward the light. That is exactly what this kind of transformation requires.What LiYana understands, and teaches with such tenderness and precision, is that authenticity isn't found by avoiding pain; it's forged inside it. This book doesn't promise you a way out of your dark night. It promises you something better: yourself, on the other side.”—Alexandra Beller, author of The Anatomy of Art