Fire It Up

Carolyn Sharp always knew she wanted a career in helping people. She earned a master of social work from Portland State University and has extensive training in attachment, neuroscience, trauma, and mindfulness. Today, she is an experienced couples therapist with twenty-five years of training and practice in helping people build vital, vibrant, and secure functioning relationships through one-on-one and group couples coaching, workshops, retreats, and intensives. She combines her passion for helping people with her widespread experience to create the healthiest and happiest relationships possible.

Finalist in the 2025 IAN Book of the Year Awards, “Parenting/Family/Relationships” Category.“Fire It Up is a beacon of hope for couples navigating the complexities of relationships. Grounded in the science of attachment, this book is a transformative road map for deepening intimacy and fostering lasting connection. With warmth and expertise, Carolyn Sharp offers invaluable insights and practical tools, empowering couples to ignite the flames of passion and understanding in their relationship. A must-read for anyone seeking to enrich their love life and cultivate thriving partnerships.” —Tony Rousmaniere, PsyD, president of the Psychotherapy Division of the American Psychological Association“If you want to bring more life into your partnership, then Carolyn Sharp should be your trusted guide. She uses the memorable and creative metaphor of building a fire—with oxygen, fuel, and ignition—to guide romantic partners through a four-step process for renewing their relationship. Based on principles congruent with attachment theory and incorporating an appendix with numerous practical exercises, Fire It Up should be the go-to resource for anyone seeking a healthier, more vibrant relationship.” —Kara Hoppe, MFT, coauthor of Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents“Finally! An honest, relatable guide for couples written by an experienced clinician who provides clear and simple guidance on how to transform a struggling relationship into a vibrant, joyful partnership. Everything about Sharp’s methodology just makes sense! Required reading for anyone who wants to deepen their understanding of healthy relationships and foster lasting connection.” —Megan Gunnell, LMSW, founder of Thriving Well Institute and bestselling author of Thriving as a Therapist: The Ultimate Guide to Building and Scaling Your Business for Freedom, Joy, and Financial Abundance“All relationships—even the best ones—need care, tending, and work to thrive. Yet family histories, life demands, and lack of clear guidance often make it challenging for couples to bring out the best in themselves and their relationships. With humor, humility, and considerable clinical experience and wisdom, Carolyn Sharp has crafted an invaluable resource for any couple seeking to build the kind of positive patterns and behaviors that are needed to create and sustain a healthy relationship for the long term. Packed with sage advice and skills (with practice exercises!), this gem of a book is the perfect how-to guide for building relationships filled with love, mutual support, and, of course, fire!” —Travis Osborne, PhD, ABPP, clinical director of the Evidence Based Treatment Centers of Seattle“Fire It Up is a transformative and inclusive guide that stands out in the world of relationship resources. As a career psychotherapist specializing in the LGBTQ and trans community, I find Sharp’s book a rare and invaluable gem. It combines valuable content, practical strategies, and diverse representation, ensuring every reader can see themselves and their relationships reflected within its pages. Sharp’s expertise shines through with research-backed insights and real-life examples, making it easy to unlock the most fulfilling relationship, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Fire It Up empowers individuals to embrace their authentic selves and build meaningful connections, making it an essential read for both professionals and individuals seeking passionate, successful relationships.” —Shauna Hill, LICSW, cofounder and CEO of StateChange Media, podcast host, and therapist“Carolyn Sharp has written the book that every married couple needs. As I read her book, I was reflecting on the unusual number of friends I have going through divorces right now . . . and how many of them would have benefited from this book! Through her well-told stories, clear anecdotes, and easy-to-grasp breakdowns of complex dynamics, Carolyn will save so many marriages. When you’re ready to get beyond social-media-sound-bite psychology and actually do deep healing work as a couple, Carolyn is the person for you. Working with her in person is the biggest magic of all . . . and this book is the next best thing!” —Katie Read, LMFT, CEO and founder, Clini-Coach Academy“I loved this book. Carolyn uses her many years of professional and personal experience along with some well-placed humor to ease the reader into complex ideas that are well articulated, organized, and followed by creative exercises to ensure maximum retention. I can’t wait to share this resource with my clients” —Stefanie Sherman, LCPC, NCC, president of the Idaho Counseling Association