Clive Whichelow – författare

Over last thirty years, new technology, fashion, and social set-ups have spawned new cliches galore. Everything on the Internet is available at the 'click of a mouse', TV presenters ask the audience to 'give it up' when they want them to applaud, call centres tell us 'we value your call' even though 'all our operators are busy'. And if you're 'gobsmacked' by all this you may be told to 'get a life', 'chill out' or 'whatever'.It's Not Rocket Science sifts through all aspects of modern life to find the most prevalent, ubiquitous and downright irritating cliches of our age. This high-octane, caffeine-fuelled, dictionary of cliches highlights the freshly-hackneyed phrases we're being subjected to 24/7. So how good is that? And what's not to like?

Finally, you're a proper grown-up! But between the paunch and the mortgage, you're starting to wonder if this is what you really want. You need midlife crisis survival skills:- Stop calling it a midlife crisis and start calling it Teenagehood part 2.- Do go to the gym occasionally. Don't train to join the Olympic weightlifting team.This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your second youth with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.

It's time to embrace the slower pace!There's no denying it - you're OLD, but that comes with a lot of perks. You can say the most outrageous things and somehow get away with it. You can dress however you damn well please. And after learning from so many mistakes, you're now as wise as you are wizened. It's your time to recline, and this hilarious book will show you how it's done.

See the funny side of ageing with this collection of amusing observations, silly suggestions and humorous illustrations - the perfect gift for any birthday girl or boy with more than a few candles on their cakeSo you're a little bit older. So what? Just because you're getting on a bit doesn't mean you have to start acting ancient. The universe is over 13 billion years old, and you're probably nowhere near that yet - well, not quite anyway.Frankly, it's never too early to start enjoying your second childhood, to stop taking life so seriously and to start acting a bit silly again. This book will be your go-to guide for inspiration and merriment while clocking up birthdays like they're going out of fashion.Across these pages, you'll find all kinds of wild recommendations and questionable advice, including:- Things it's never too late to do- Grown-up and less grown-up ways to behave at work- How to keep up with modern technology- Ways you can blend in with younger people- Things you can have tantrums about as you get olderSo forget the creaking joints or fleeing follicles and embrace the opportunities for mischief and mirth - after all, growing old doesn't mean growing up!

Be yourself and wear your wrinkles proudly with the help of this humorous collection of observations and illustrations on how to survive old age- A hilarious book of tongue-in-cheek advice to ease you through the hardships of getting older- Packed with wonderful, humorous illustrations and amusing scenarios- Ideal gag gift for a parent, grandparent or anyone "getting on a bit"For years, you wanted to be treated like a proper adult, but now you're on a downhill slippery slope to a grand old age and you can't seem to find the brakes. You need expert survival advice, such as:- Don't call anyone under 40 "young man" or "young lady"- Do remember where your glasses, keys and wallet are to avoid raised eyebrows from family members- Don't wear a tartan rug over your knees on a car journey- Do make an effort to learn all the songs in the top ten This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your latter years without worrying about what anyone else thinks. After all, the best things in life are old: vintage wines, golden oldies... You're now part of an elite club. Enjoy!

You may never now become a rock star or regain the waist size you had at 18. You have taken a sudden interest in bleeding your radiators and figuring out the best route by road to anywhere in the country.On the bright side, you can feel smug that you have better grammar than a university student and don't have to dig out your embarrassing passport photo to get into pubs or buy alcohol.

The future is ours - let's enjoy it! This hilarious fully illustrated book will help ease you into this strange and perplexing new stage of your life.After all those years of routine you're suddenly free! You're bound to be a bit nervous - it is your first time. No more being bossed about - well, apart from by your other half, of course. No more getting up at the crack of dawn to go to work - though at your age you may have to get up at the crack of dawn anyway to use the loo. No more wage slavery - er, no more wages...But it's going to be fine, because you can now do what you want to do - within reason, naturally. Within these pages you'll discover:- What your new job as "retiree" involves, the hours (all of them) and the pay (let's face it, if anyone advertised a job with this salary, no one would take it)- Conversations you will no longer have to have- Things you no longer have to feel guilty about- Pursuits for bored retirees- Truths that will slowly dawn on you- Ways to supplement your pension...and all the other perks (and niggles) that come with your new position (and no, we don't mean "horizontal on the sofa").

This sparkling collection of golden age wit and wisdom is proof-positive that the stereotypes of knitting grannies and doddering granddads just aren't true anymore – if, indeed, they ever were. Senior citizens are not going gentle into that good night. They're still out there, living life to the full, taking selfies, 'silver surfing' the net and showing the rest of us how to grow up and grow old disgracefully. Because as Maurice Chevalier said, 'Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.' This is a joke book specifically designed for oldies, so look out you young whippersnappers – you probably won't get half of them!