Mike Haskins – författare
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19 produkter
19 produkter
Häftad, Engelska, 2024
122 kr
Skickas
The ultimate joke book with over 3,000 side-splitting jokes for every occasion: ranging from one-liners and observations, to classic funny stories that will provide hours of fun. Mike Haskins and Stephen Arnott collate this wonderful comedy-fest full of quick-fire one-liners, timely observations and rambling yarns – from the classic to the modern. This book contains quips for every occasion: from a best man’s speech to a sales conference, for swapping around the dinner table and even for when you’re sitting on the loo!Arranged by subject matter, you’ll always be able to find just the right joke for any situation. (Unless you're a child, because this book is strictly for adults only.)This hilarious collection will appeal to those who want to find a specific rib-tickler for an upcoming event, and to those who wants to settle down in an armchair and have a good old laugh. From the hilariously cringe-worthy dad joke, to the witty brain-teaser, 3000 Jokes, 2997 Laughs will leave you the funniest person in every room.Jokes include: Tom’s eyesight is getting very bad. He’s had to get a special new pair of glasses to help him find where he left his old glasses. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador. Today is the birthday of the inventor of the boomerang. I think we should all wish him Many Happy Returns. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus. Settle in, and prepare to laugh your socks off!
Häftad, Engelska, 2004
220 kr
Skickas
Man Walks Into A Bar is a one-stop shop for anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. The jokes are ordered thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, the lot. There are also regular panels which group jokes by type too - Essex girls, changing a lightbulb etc. Our material will turn you into the toast of your local pub or make you loathed in your own home - remember, it is all in the telling. From the sublimely erudite to stuff Frank Carson would turn down (the book has a 'world's worst jokes' section), this book can service you with every joke you'll ever need.What do you call an eskimo chav?InnuinnitWhat did the zen student say at the hamburger stand?Make me one with everythingWhat's Irish and lives in the garden?Paddy O'Furniture
Häftad, Engelska, 2016
234 kr
Skickas inom 3-6 vardagar
E-bok
Engelska, 2010161 kr
Läs direkt efter köp
Man Walks Into A Bar is a one-stop shop for anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. The jokes are ordered thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, the lot. There are also regular panels which group jokes by type too - Essex girls, changing a lightbulb etc. Our material will turn you into the toast of your local pub or make you loathed in your own home - remember, it is all in the telling. From the sublimely erudite to stuff Frank Carson would turn down (the book has a 'world's worst jokes' section), this book can service you with every joke you'll ever need.What do you call an eskimo chav?InnuinnitWhat did the zen student say at the hamburger stand?Make me one with everythingWhat's Irish and lives in the garden?Paddy O'Furniture
E-bok
Engelska, 2011140 kr
Läs direkt efter köp
Searching for the ultimate stimulant? Something you can have on the bus in the morning or in the ambient comfort of your own home? The latest User's Guide - a totally natural and controlled experience - is just what you've been looking for. It contains everything you always wanted to know about drugs but were afraid to ask: The history of recreational drugs, a catalogue of natural highs and pharmaceuticals, the physiological effects, drugs and religion, drugs and the law, drug customs from around the world, trafficking drugs, drugs in literature, film and art, famous drug takers, drug slang, urban myths, drug legends and horror stories, quotations, tales of outrageous behaviour and a kilo of curious facts and figures. Did you know that- --Scientists have found traces of marijuana among Shakespeare's personal effects--Victorian prime minister Lord Rosebery would snort cocaine to help pep up his public speaking
Häftad, Engelska, 2014
74 kr
Skickas inom 5-8 vardagar
A hilarious collection of the weirdest, stupidest and most outrageous things ever saidon the internet on sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Ebay, Amazon, YouTube andeven in good old-fashioned emails. Years ago if you said or did something stupid or embarrassing, it would have remainedrelatively private and have would soon been forgotten. Now thanks to advances in technology every cringe-making remark that we make online is preserved not only for the rest of eternity but is also instantly available for all the world to see! Wow! I'm a Genieous! presents an irresistible collection of ill-thought out comments, opinions, online disputes and sheer unashamed ignorance.So join us as we find the people who put the twit in Twitter and the mess in instant message. Contents include:Stupid Questions and Stupid Answers: e.g. "Does anyone know Obama's last name?" "Are there any lakes in the Lake District?" Angry Outbursts: Furious, insane or wildly over the top comments from You Tube etcHarrods it ain't - buying and selling on the internet: "I won a filthy Powerbook 540 which took about one month to arrive. The seller clearly used rubbish from their bin to pack the box; complete with McDonalds wrappers with old french fries and lettuce!"Observations To Leave You Speechless: "Does it rain in Australia? Because it's the other side of the world doesn't the rain just fall away into space?", "The Olympics has been going three thousand years?! We're only up to 2012!" "I like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur."Reviews from Hell: "The beach was too sandy and there were too many fish in the sea...", "We went on holiday to Spain and had problems with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish"Online Slip Ups: Internet-based disasters e.g. the school headmaster who asked his bursar to reply to a complaint from an old lady by telling her to "get stuffed" but accidentally copied her in on the message Communication Problems: Extraordinary spelling mistakes and terrible grammar e.g. "nothing more fun than wachting sex and city and raping Christmas pressants", "Why is the USA bombin Labia?"People Who Really Don't Deserve Our Money: e.g. An email from a Euromillions winner promising you a share of their win. As if!
E-bok
Engelska, 201432 kr
Läs direkt efter köp
A hilarious collection of the weirdest, stupidest and most outrageous things ever said on the internet on sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Ebay, Amazon, YouTube and even in good old-fashioned emails. Years ago if you said or did something stupid or embarrassing, it would have remained relatively private and have would soon been forgotten. Now thanks to advances in technology every cringe-making remark that we make online is preserved not only for the rest of eternity but is also instantly available for all the world to see! Wow! I''m a Genieous! presents an irresistible collection of ill-thought out comments, opinions, online disputes and sheer unashamed ignorance.So join us as we find the people who put the twit in Twitter and the mess in instant message. Contents include: Stupid Questions and Stupid Answers: e.g. "Does anyone know Obama''s last name?" "Are there any lakes in the Lake District?" Angry Outbursts: Furious, insane or wildly over the top comments from You Tube etc Harrods it ain''t - buying and selling on the internet: "I won a filthy Powerbook 540 which took about one month to arrive. The seller clearly used rubbish from their bin to pack the box; complete with McDonalds wrappers with old french fries and lettuce!" Observations To Leave You Speechless: "Does it rain in Australia? Because it''s the other side of the world doesn''t the rain just fall away into space?", "The Olympics has been going three thousand years?! We''re only up to 2012!" "I like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur." Reviews from Hell: "The beach was too sandy and there were too many fish in the sea...", "We went on holiday to Spain and had problems with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish" Online Slip Ups: Internet-based disasters e.g. the school headmaster who asked his bursar to reply to a complaint from an old lady by telling her to "get stuffed" but accidentally copied her in on the message Communication Problems: Extraordinary spelling mistakes and terrible grammar e.g. "nothing more fun than wachting sex and city and raping Christmas pressants", "Why is the USA bombin Labia?" People Who Really Don''t Deserve Our Money: e.g. An email from a Euromillions winner promising you a share of their win. As if!
Häftad, Engelska, 2014
85 kr
Skickas inom 5-8 vardagar
Is your eyesight failing, are you not very good at driving yourself or are you simply blind drunk? These are just a few of the reasons why it would make perfect sense to teach your dog to be your new chauffeur. Here, for the first time, is a complete guide: how to get your dog acquainted with the controls, which breeds are the safest drivers, frequently asked questions; and how to get your dog successfully through their tests.Never again need you wait for a taxi, or make that long motorway drive unassisted. If you are a dog owner and a car owner, then How to Teach Your Dog to Drive will be the most useful book you buy this year, or even this decade . . .
E-bok
Engelska, 201443 kr
Läs direkt efter köp
Is your eyesight failing, are you not very good at driving yourself or are you simply blind drunk? These are just a few of the reasons why it would make perfect sense to teach your dog to be your new chauffeur. Here, for the first time, is a complete guide: how to get your dog acquainted with the controls, which breeds are the safest drivers, frequently asked questions; and how to get your dog successfully through their tests.Never again need you wait for a taxi, or make that long motorway drive unassisted. If you are a dog owner and a car owner, then How to Teach Your Dog to Drive will be the most useful book you buy this year, or even this decade . . .
Inbunden, Engelska, 2019
84 kr
Skickas inom 5-8 vardagar
Finally, you're a proper grown-up! But between the paunch and the mortgage, you're starting to wonder if this is what you really want. You need midlife crisis survival skills:- Stop calling it a midlife crisis and start calling it Teenagehood part 2.- Do go to the gym occasionally. Don't train to join the Olympic weightlifting team.This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your second youth with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
Del 12 - Wicked Wit
Wicked Wit of Cricket
Inbunden, Engelska, 2023
117 kr
Skickas inom 5-8 vardagar
Welcome to The Wicked Wit of Cricket, a compendium packed with the game’s greatest stories from both on and off the field. ‘The English,’ as George Bernard Shaw once remarked, ‘are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.’ Some might call it eternity. Others might instead regard it as heaven. The world of cricket is nevertheless one that is filled with larger than life characters – be they the great players, the unforgettable commentators, the legendary umpires or the most enthusiastic and barmiest fans. The contest between leather and willow is, after all, only challenged by soccer as the world's most popular sport.The Wicket Wit of Cricket is a sumptuous feast of cricket’s greatest tales, legends and anecdotes all spread out across the clubhouse table in bite-sized pieces. Bringing together the sport’s most famous quips, insults, pranks, mishaps, incredible facts, outrageous incidents, plus all those great moments of commentary where the words did not come out quite as intended. This is a book packed not just with wicked wit but with wicket wit as well!
Inbunden, Engelska, 2022
96 kr
See the funny side of ageing with this collection of amusing observations, silly suggestions and humorous illustrations - the perfect gift for any birthday girl or boy with more than a few candles on their cakeSo you're a little bit older. So what? Just because you're getting on a bit doesn't mean you have to start acting ancient. The universe is over 13 billion years old, and you're probably nowhere near that yet - well, not quite anyway.Frankly, it's never too early to start enjoying your second childhood, to stop taking life so seriously and to start acting a bit silly again. This book will be your go-to guide for inspiration and merriment while clocking up birthdays like they're going out of fashion.Across these pages, you'll find all kinds of wild recommendations and questionable advice, including:- Things it's never too late to do- Grown-up and less grown-up ways to behave at work- How to keep up with modern technology- Ways you can blend in with younger people- Things you can have tantrums about as you get olderSo forget the creaking joints or fleeing follicles and embrace the opportunities for mischief and mirth - after all, growing old doesn't mean growing up!
Inbunden, Engelska, 2026
110 kr
Kommande
Be yourself and wear your wrinkles proudly with the help of this humorous collection of observations and illustrations on how to survive old ageFor years, you wanted to be treated like a proper adult, but now you're on a downhill slippery slope to a grand old age and you can't seem to find the brakes. You need expert survival advice, such as:- Don't call anyone under 40 "young man" or "young lady".- Do remember where your glasses, keys and wallet are to avoid raised eyebrows from family members.- Don't wear a tartan rug over your knees on a car journey.- Do make an effort to learn all the songs in the top ten. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your latter years without worrying about what anyone else thinks. After all, the best things in life are old: vintage wines, golden oldies... You're now part of an elite club. Enjoy!
Häftad, Engelska, 2022
78 kr
Skickas inom 7-10 vardagar
Explore ‘Beatle Land’ and the iconic sites associated with The Beatles’ fame.The ‘Fab Four’ – John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr – were all born and brought up in Liverpool, and this illustrated guide reveals why the city was crucial to their musical success. Following in their footsteps around Liverpool and Merseyside, the book explores the places that influenced The Beatles’ musical direction and eventual stardom. Discover the significance of the locations behind hit singles such as ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’ and ‘Penny Lane’, as well as iconic music venue The Cavern Club. The book’s handy location map will guide you to all the sights, including:• St Peter’s Church where Paul famously first met John, who was playing in his band The Quarrymen in the grounds.• The Mersey Ferry which provided a great venue for the Beatles to perform in 1961 and 1962.• Strawberry Fields where John visited summer fairs with his aunt, and which was the inspiration behind the hit single ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’• Penny Lane and its bus roundabout, celebrated in the song with the same name.• The Cavern Club, the iconic music venue where The Beatles played 292 times and where Brian Epstein first saw them perform in 1961.• John, Paul, George and Ringo's childhood homes.The book also looks at the band’s early childhood influences including schools, parents and relatives that left an indelible mark on the character of the boys as they grew up, as well as their manager Brian Epstein’s role and influence as another Liverpool lad. Fully illustrated, this is the ultimate Beatles fan’s guide to Liverpool.
Inbunden, Engelska, 2013
78 kr
Skickas inom 5-8 vardagar
You may never now become a rock star or regain the waist size you had at 18. You have taken a sudden interest in bleeding your radiators and figuring out the best route by road to anywhere in the country.On the bright side, you can feel smug that you have better grammar than a university student and don't have to dig out your embarrassing passport photo to get into pubs or buy alcohol.
Inbunden, Engelska, 2017
118 kr
Skickas inom 5-8 vardagar
This sparkling collection of golden age wit and wisdom is proof-positive that the stereotypes of knitting grannies and doddering granddads just aren't true anymore – if, indeed, they ever were. Senior citizens are not going gentle into that good night. They're still out there, living life to the full, taking selfies, 'silver surfing' the net and showing the rest of us how to grow up and grow old disgracefully. Because as Maurice Chevalier said, 'Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.' This is a joke book specifically designed for oldies, so look out you young whippersnappers – you probably won't get half of them!
E-bok
Engelska, 2015167 kr
Läs direkt efter köp
What’s brown and sticky? A stick. Remember the jokes you told in the playground? The ones you annoyed your parents with for hours and hours? The ones you secretly still find hilarious? This book contains them all, and more. Clean enough for children but funny enough for adults, Best Ever Classroom Jokes is packed full of the stupidest jokes ever told. What happens if you pass out after eating too much curry?You go into a korma. What’s red and bad for your teeth?A brick. Containing a mix of well-loved favourites and brand new, originally written jokes, this rib-tickling book is an essential read for big kids everywhere.Word count: 35,000
E-bok
Engelska, 201775 kr
Läs direkt efter köp
The ultimate joke book with over 3,000 side-splitting jokes for every occasion, ranging from one-liners and observations, to classic stories that will provide hours of fun. Mike Haskins and Stephen Arnott collate this wonderful comedy-fest full of quick-fire one-liners, timely observations and rambling yarns – from the classic to the modern. This book contains quips for every occasion: from the best man’s speech to a sales conference, or just for swapping around the dinner table.Arranged by subject matter, you’ll always be able to find just the right joke for any situation. (Unless you're a child, because this book is strictly for adults only!)This hilarious collection will appeal to those who want to find a specific rib-tickler for an upcoming occasion, and to those who wants to settle down in an armchair and have a good old laugh.Jokes include: Tom’s eyesight is getting very bad. He’s had to get a special new pair of glassesto help him find where he left his old glasses. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador. Today is the birthday of the inventor of the boomerang. I think we should all wish him Many Happy Returns. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus. Settle in, and prepare to laugh your socks off!
Inbunden, Engelska, 2019
118 kr
Skickas inom 5-8 vardagar
Wrinklies Bedside Companion contains everything that the greying generation needs to know about the world, and quite a lot that they don't. Specially designed to live on your bedside table, or wherever you prefer to nap, and to provide light relief before sleep, be a source of interesting quotes and facts for insomniac Wrinklies or serve as a one-stop quote shop for all things that those of you with plenty of life experience will find amusing. Full of short, jokey pieces looking at various aspects of life from a Wrinklies' point of view. These pieces are quirky, satirical, imaginative and above all very funny. They are of course specially designed to appeal to the older reader by tapping into their interests, attitudes, opinions, experience, health problems and the like.