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The Polysecure Workbook encourages examination of any attachment challenges you may have experienced in your opening up process and offers insights into how to build secure relationships. Through practical exercises, you will explore your own attachment history, examine your reasons for practicing nonmonogamy and the different styles of nonmonogamy that you relate to, and consider whether you rely on relationship structure for your attachment security. The Polysecure Workbook provides the tools needed to navigate the complexities of multiple loving relationships and to build personal security.

Polyamory is not always easy. With multiple partners often come more complex relationships to navigate. This practical guide looks at the common causes of polyamorous breakups, identifies strategies to avoid ending relationships, and provides you with the toolkit to survive a breakup. Kathy Labriola uses real life examples and expert insight as a counselor and nurse. From how to handle jealousy to the practicalities of managing money and time with multiple partners, this book includes tips and insights from the polyamory community. It is inevitable that some relationships will end in a breakup. This book helps you maintain friendships and minimize the impact of a breakup on the rest of your polycule and wider community. Unlike traditional breakup guides, Labriola's book offers insight specific to the polyamory community and addresses the unique challenges that come with multiple partners.

Have you ever heard the phrase 'It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission?' Violating consent isn't limited to sexual relationships, and our discussions around consent shouldn't be, either. To resist rape culture, we need a consent culture-and one that is more than just reactionary. Left confined to intimate spaces, consent will atrophy as theory that is never put into practice. The multi-layered power disparities of today's world require a response sensitive to a wide range of lived experiences. In Ask, Kitty Stryker assembles a retinue of writers, journalists, and activists to examine how a cultural politic centered on consent can empower us outside the bedroom, whether it's at the doctor's office, interacting with law enforcement, or calling out financial abuse within radical communities. More than a collection of essays, Ask is a testimony and guide on the role that negated consent plays in our lives, examining how we can take those first steps to reclaim it from institutionalized power.

Even in progressive families and communities, people who practice nonmonogamy are susceptible to misinformation and accusations of moral and emotional failings. Facing this requires its own coming out and education process. In this guide, Tamara Pincus and Rebecca Hiles provide a roadmap for explaining the expansive intricacies of the consensual nonmonogamy spectrum. By fusing personal experience and community research, they break down the various incarnations of polyamorous relationship structures, polyamory's intersections with race and gender, and the seemingly esoteric jargon of the lifestyle. Topics include everything from how to explain what a 'unicorn hunter' is to answering questions like, 'Can poly people raise children?' and 'Can they live normal, healthy lives?' Such conversations are eloquently explained and the real dangers of being out as poly in a monogamy-centered society are laid bare.

Even as the broader LGBT community enjoys political and societal advances in North America, the bisexual community still today contends with decades of misinformation stereotyping them as innately indecisive, self-loathing, and untrustworthy. Claiming the B in LGBT strives to give bisexuals a seat at the table. This guidebook to the history and future of the bisexual movement fuses a chronology of bisexual organizing with essays, poems, and articles detailing the lived experiences of bisexual activities struggling against a dominant culture driven by norms of monosexual attraction, compulsory monogamy, and inflexible notions of gender expression and identity. Kate Harrad's anthology of a thriving identity yearning to realize itself provides a vision of bisexuality that is beyond gay and straight, rather than left to merely occupy the space between.

Sex work was once thought to be anathema to women's liberation. Now, to some, we represent the tenacity of women's struggles under patriarchy and capitalism-that is, at least, the white, straight, cis, able-bodied sex workers who don't engage in actual sex with clients. These are the workers who get the glossy media profiles and get touted as feminist icons. But the red umbrella is wide and covers so many: escorts, sugar babies, strippers, session wrestlers, cam performers, fetish models, DIY queer porn stars, and the full range of gender, race, and ability. Our work and our identities are as vast and variable as the spectrum of sexuality itself. We do the work. In the streets, in the clubs, in hotel rooms, and in play party dungeons. We make dreams come true so we can afford a place to sleep. We do business in a marketplace that politicians and police are constantly burning down for our 'own safety and dignity.' We have high heels and higher anxiety. This isn't a collection of sob stories of heartbroken whores. This is a testament of life at ground zero of sexual discourse, the songs of canaries in the coal mines of sex, gender, class, race, and disability. We may dance on the table, but we still demand our seat at it. Sex workers of the world unite. This is A Whore's Manifesto.

Almost everyone has had some interaction with depression. Whether it's you, a family member, a friend, or a partner who is affected, depression has the potential to touch us all. Even so, many of us don't know how to handle depression becoming part of our love life and it can quickly become the monster under the bed. From 'you have to love yourself first,' to 'don't stick it in the crazy,' to dead silence, popular responses to the topic leave much to be desired. But you're not alone and you can have successful relationships and satisfying sex with depression. JoEllen Notte will help you understand how sexual function is affected by depression and what keeps us from effectively addressing it. Heavily informed by the author's research, including surveys of over 1,000 people and interviews with close to 200, this is the first book of its kind. With practical tips and real-life examples, this is both a guidebook for people with depression and the people who love them, as well as a reference tool for mental health professionals.

Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you're striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner? Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide.

Millions of people worldwide are coping with depression. Whether it's you, a family member, a friend or a partner - odds are depression affects your life. Even so, many of us don't know what to do when it hits someone we care about. JoEllen Notte challenges the preconceived notions that keep us from showing up for each other in a meaningful way and offers strategies for supporting each other and ourselves when depression comes calling. Challenging the notions that tell us 'that's not my business' or 'they probably don't want to talk about that,' In It Together equips readers to navigate depression alongside the people they care about. Informed by interviews with over 200 people coping with depression and featuring practical tips and real-life examples, In it Together is an insightful and much-needed guidebook for people with depression and those who love them.

As polyamory continues to make its way into the mainstream, more and more people are exploring consensual nonmonogamy in the hope of experiencing more love, connection, sex, freedom, and support. While for many, the move expands personal horizons, for others, the transition can be challenging, leaving them blindsided and overwhelmed. Beyond the initial transition to nonmonogamy, many struggle with the root issues beneath the symptoms of broken agreements, communication challenges, increased fighting, and persistent jealousy. Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern shares the insights she has gained through thousands of hours working with clients in consensually nonmonogamous relationships. Using a grounded theory approach, she explores the underlying challenges that nonmonogamous individuals and partners can experience after their first steps, offering practical strategies for transforming them into opportunities for new levels of clarity and intimacy. Polywise provides both the conceptual framework to better understand the shift from monogamy to nonmonogamy and the tools to navigate the next steps, allowing you to not just survive in open relationships, but thrive in them.

Polyamory can be fun, sweet and even liberating. But ethical nonmonogamy can also take work. In A Polyamory Devotional, relationship coach Evita 'Lavitaloca' Sawyers streamlines the vast abstractions of 'working on yourself' into a guided tour of rigorous self-reflection. Building upon her wealth of experience in fostering the journey from monogamy to nonmonogamy, Sawyers invites you to ask yourself the big questions. Can compersion and jealousy coexist? How do we hold space for hurt we didn't cause? Through 365 daily prompts, you are encouraged to develop the tools of emotional diligence that will serve you for a lifetime. For those eager to love authentically but overwhelmed by the emotional process of polyamory, this is your reminder that you don't have to do it alone.

This bundle of two books includes Ask: Building Consent Culture, a collection of essays exploring the role of consent in confronting power structures in day-to-day life, and Ask Yourself: The Consent Culture Workbook, a practical workbook that uses 28 daily prompts to encourage readers to explore consent at their own pace and in their own way, with the insights of consent culture activists to help inspire reflection along the way.

What even is 'sexy,' and how do you do it? A tough question for trans and nonbinary queers struggling to find their sexual selves in a landscape rife with misogynistic, transphobic and homophobic ideals and expectations. In How Do I Sexy? Mx. Nillin Lore provides affirming and helpful direction based on over a decade of their own personal and professional experience as an educator, advocate, support worker and award-winning sex blogger. You're invited to do some deep introspection, find a look that feels right and gain insight on sexiness from fellow trans and nonbinary queers. You'll also find valuable tips on navigating dating sites, finding community, managing rejection with grace and engaging in sexual relationships. Principled and compassionate, Mx. Nillin Lore will help you figure out who you want to be, who you want to be with and how to make it happen-both in the streets and between the sheets.

Trauma, attachment wounds and external criticism can leave us battling a sense of shame and inadequacy that can keep us from thriving personally and in relationships. In Transforming the Shame Triangle, psychotherapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley use a synthesis of Internal Family Systems and Narrative Process to identify the three parts that they identify as the greatest barriers to achieving the life we want. The Inner Critic, Shame, and the Escaper are players in an internalized drama triangle, acting as perpetrator, victim and rescuer. Together, they create the Shame Triangle, which can trap us in ineffective survival strategies that prevent us from embracing and expressing our true selves. Through practical exercises and accessible explanations, readers are guided to shift from a state of self-critique to one of self-support-transforming the Shame Triangle to a love triangle. Using parts work, Fern and Cooley open a path to healing and transformation, building a foundation of authenticity and integrity in self and connections, and ultimately creating a more fulfilling life.

Balancing a devotion to activism with personal relationships can be incredibly difficult. Kitty Stryker shares her experience as an activist, street medic, and relationship educator to help others pursue the important work while maintaining healthy relationships and without burning out. Both a call to action and a candid memoir, Stryker is open about what she has learned and her perceived limitations. Recognizing that it can feel overwhelming to know how to effectively make change, she encourages readers to consider how they can best advocate for causes they believe in, presenting different types of activism, and urging readers to honestly examine their own hesitations. She also emphasizes that without taking care of our interpersonal relationships, many people burn out of activism at the very time when we need more people on the ground, and offers practical strategies to avoid this and to encourage healthy relationships.

Queerphobic and transphobic messaging can arrive from nearly any direction, and once queer and trans people are exposed to the fear, disgust and judgement people have for otherness, it can easily fester into internalized oppression. In a society that promotes the narrative of self-loathing queers, loving and accepting ourselves can be hard to imagine, let alone achieve. Author and activist Mx. Nillin Lore has first-hand insight into the complex inner journey of decluttering the guilt, shame and anxiety that can feed our inner discriminator and in Carry On, they provide a guided expedition through the source material of our own erasure. A self-reflective journey and a toolset for dismantling inflammatory inner frameworks, this is a practical and encouraging guide for those ready and willing to unpack their internalized queerphobic and transphobic baggage.

At 23, Theresa Kishkan met an artist who became obsessed with her. She was young, she was flattered, and the situation quickly overwhelmed her. He drew and painted her for a few months, after which she went away for a year. When she returned, she was determined not to resume the relationship. But the artist made contact with her after the birth of her first child and became a family friend, bringing gifts of paintings. Those images hung in Theresa's home, and one in particular reminded her almost daily of her younger self, in ways both positive and not so much. She avoided looking too closely at his images of her and at his long, passionate and often troubling letters. Decades later, while sorting old correspondence, she was taken back to those early days and began, at last, to write about her relationship with the now-deceased artist. The Art of Looking Back is a meditation on the male gaze, on reclaiming one's younger self, and on agency: how we lose it, how we find it again. This poetic memoir asks questions about older men and younger women and girls, and the persistence of that dynamic in art.

A deeply personal, provocative portrait of how race, culture and sexuality intersect to reshape what it means to be an Asian man in North America today. What does it mean to be an Asian man in North America? In this timely and insightful memoir, Ryan Cho unpacks ideas about masculinity and Asian men in a world of stereotypes and social expectations. Drawing from his own experiences and interviews with other Asian men and nonbinary people, Cho explores how culture, sexuality and race combine to influence identity. Along the way, he meets people redefining what masculinity means to them and discusses what we can do to steward a version of masculinity that is inclusive, progressive and authentic.Candid, challenging and personal, Brotherhood is a Constant Possibility invites readers to question the roles Asian men have been “allowed” to play and to imagine broader and more nuanced ways of thinking about masculinity and men.

A fierce, lucid meditation on the ethics and ecstasies of power.What are we doing when we erotically dominate another? Most kink resources focus on technique, safety and consent while overlooking less tangible elements that are equally important in defining the shape and quality of a scene. Informed by Métatron Lau’s years of first-hand experience as a dominant, The Fundamentals of Erotic Dominance explores skills that are often absent in mainstream kink education. In this groundbreaking work, Lau dismantles the mechanics of kink to uncover its deeper truths: trust, reciprocity, vulnerability and the raw intelligence of the body. Moving beyond manuals, she explores what happens when people enter the unpredictable space of power and surrender, and how that space can support greater attunement, eroticism and transformation. Aimed at people with some experience of kink and looking for the language to discuss the subtler aspects of BDSM, this thoughtful resource blends theory, practice and cultural critique to articulate a new ethic of erotic power. In Lau’s vision, domination is not control for its own sake but a form of radical attention—one that restores connection between mind and body, self and other, suffering and joy.