Couple Is Telling You What You Need To Know

Norman S. Bobes, M.D., was in the private practice of Internal Medicine for 30 years in Los Angeles, California, and is an Emeritus Professor of Clinical Medicine at UCLA Medical Center where he taught for 20 years. Currently, he works as a medical consultant and educator. Toby Bobes, Ph.D., is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a therapy and consultation practice. She is an adjunct faculty member of Antioch University Santa Barbara and teaches at Pacifica Graduate Institute, as well as coauthor of Doing Couple Therapy: Integrating Theory with Practice.

• Part 1: Doing Couple Therapy: The Intersections of Systems Theory and Multicultural Influences; Assumption 1: Infinite Points of Intersection Exist Between Multicultural Influences and the Components of Systems Theory; Key Assumptions of Systems Theory; Key Assumptions of a Multicultural Perspective; Assumption 2: The Organizing Principles of Life are Socially and Culturally Created; Complexities Impacting the Therapeutic Encounter; Assumption 3: Both/And Thinking: The Simultaneous Holding of Different Views. This Perspective is Fundamental To Understanding the Intersections of Systems Theory and Multicultural Influences; Assumption 4: Embedded Dimensions of Oppression are Often Invisible in Practices of Living; Assumption 5: Marginalized Groups Continually Receive Double Bind Messages From Society; Assumption 6: The Integrity of Therapeutic Work Mandates an Ongoing Self-Examination by the Therapist; Assumption 7: Change May Be Incremental, Imperceptible, Subtle, or it May Be Easily Recognized; Assumption 8: Certain Basic Attributes are Necessary for Therapists To Be Effective Agents for Change; The Infinite Points of Intersection in Doing Couple Therapy; Part II: Key Skills and Practices; Chapter 1: Listening; Listen For Meanings; Listening Skills: Receptive and Active; Validation Essential to Effective Listening; A Lesson in Listening; Basic Listening Skills; Chapter 2: Language Practices; Language That Privileges the Client's Voice; Using Language to Situate Oneself; The Language of Reframing; Chapter 3: Questioning; Organizing the Therapist's Thinking: Fundamental Questions; The Shift from Linear to Circular Thinking; Moving from One Context to Another; Relational Context Questions (Circular Questions); Questions That Externalize the Problem; Reflexive Questions; Pacing and Timing; Creating the Seamless Shift: Moving from Linear to Circular Thinking; Part III: Understanding and Bridging Differences; A Framework for Understanding and Bridging Differences; Supervision Using a Multicultural Perspective; Chapter 1: A Couple in Cultural Transition; Emerging Therapeutic Themes; Therapeutic Practices; The Couple Makes Meaning of Joint and Individual Stories; The Couple Understands and Bridges Their Differences; When Partners Are At an Impasse; Experiencing Supervision and Doing Therapy: Side-by-Side Conversations; Helen's Experiences in Group Supervision; Chapter 2: When Belief Systems Collide; A Couple Examines Their Beliefs; Crafting Questions to Externalize Beliefs; "If You Marry Outside Your Religion, You'll Be Like Uncle Sidney"; "If You Marry Poor, You'll Always Be Unhappy"; Balancing All the Realities; Therapeutic Practices; Supervision: A Collegial Conversation; Chapter 3: Special Considerations in Working with Gay and Lesbian Couples; Effects of Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, and Heterosexism; Creating a Family: Michael and George; Expanding the Couple's Context; The Therapist's Sexual Orientation: A Key Dimension of Difference;