Love, its Meaning and Exploration in Couple Therapy

Mary Morgan is a psychoanalyst and consultant couple psychoanalytic psychotherapist. She is a leading figure in the field of couple psychoanalysis and is author of several books, chapters and articles in the field, including A Couple State of Mind: Psychoanalysis of Couples and the Tavistock Relationships Model (2019) and Couple Relations: A Contemporary Introduction (2025), both published by Routledge.Julie Friend is a psychoanalytic psychotherapist serving individuals and couples and offering professional consultation. A founding member of the Psychoanalytic Couple Psychotherapy Group of the San Francisco Bay Area, she is past director of their Intensive Study Program and current core faculty. She also sits on the editorial board of Couple and Family Psychoanalysis. Her publications (2013, 2021) have explored creative engagement and love in couple relationships.

“The editors’ starting point was the surprising discovery that love has been little explored and conceptualised in the literature of psychoanalytic work with intimate couple relationships. Gathering together the thinking and practice of experienced psychoanalytic clinicians from around the world – from south America, north America, Australia, China, Poland and the UK - this collection certainly makes up for that absence! Utilising psychoanalytic and link theories, it explores love in all its complexities, personal, interpersonal and social. It explores issues of attachment, sexuality and the impact of culture. It examines the experience of love in more disregulated couples, in cross-cultural partnerships, in same-sex and in non-monogamous relationships, and its fate in later life. Matters of love, hate and curiosity, or the lack of curiosity, about the otherness of the other, are all variously addressed by every author. Each chapter is grounded in conceptual considerations, richly informed by clear clinical illustrations. As a result, practitioners are invited to keep in mind that however vulnerable, or even absent, feelings of love might be for couples in conflict and distress, who come into treatment, rediscovering the developmental potential of a loving relationship might still be possible.” - Stanley Ruszczynski, Psychoanalyst, former Clinical Director Portman Clinic, Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation Trust“Without knowing it we have been waiting for this book! Friend and Morgan have assembled a unique collection of rich and beautifully written papers addressing the subject of love and its vicissitudes in the couple relationship and clinical work. Addressing various psychoanalytic perspectives, cultural themes, developmental registers and diverse populations, this book will remain an invaluable resource for years to come.” - Rachael Peltz, Psychoanalyst, Psychoanalytic Institute of Northern California“This timely volume returns love to the center of psychoanalytic couple therapy, where it belongs. Edited by two deeply experienced clinicians from different backgrounds, it offers a rich range of theoretical, clinical, and cultural perspectives, deepening our understanding of love’s complexities, transformations, and vulnerabilities in intimate relationships. Essential reading for clinicians working with couples and for thoughtful readers interested in love.” - Elizabeth Palacios, Psychoanalyst, Chair COFAP (IPA Couple and Family Committee) “Love and couples. They go together. Yet love has been relatively neglected as a focus in couple psychoanalysis. This book brings love out of the cold with a brilliant collection of papers from around the world, evidence that couple psychoanalysis has arrived as an international discipline. Including cutting-edge thinkers and many analytic perspectives, the editors have created a remarkably coherent, insightful, and much-needed book, bringing fresh thinking to our understanding of love and of our attempts as clinicians to help those who come to us with developmental injuries in their capacities to love and be loved.” - Andrew Balfour, Consultant Clinical Psychologist | Adult & Couple Psychotherapist; Chief Executive at Tavistock Relationships

• AcknowledgementsList of Contributors IntroductionChapter 1: Mary Morgan - The Fate of Love in some couple relationshipsChapter 2: Julie Friend - Does Love Matter in the Consulting Room?Chapter 3: Judith Pickering - A Question of True Love?Chapter 4: Shelley Nathans - The Dialectics of Attachment, Sexuality and Love in Couple RelationshipsChapter 5: Ortal Kirson-Trilling - Love is where we start from;An examination of Winnicott’s ‘use of an object’ as it relates to mature love in the couple relationshipChapter 6: Karolina Pniewska – You make me feel….The function of the transformational object in love relationshipsChapter 7: Philip Stokoe - Helping Borderline Couples Find LoveChapter 8: Timothy Keogh - Primitive layers of love: The need or desire for the OtherChapter 9: Rachel Cooke - On Love, Loss and Longing in Lesbian Couple RelationshipsChapter 10: Gary Grossman - Obstacles to Love in Gay Male CouplingChapter 11: Monica Vorchheimer - All you need is love?Chapter 12: Tao Lin - The Evolution of Love Through Psychoanalytic and Daoist PerspectivesChapter 13: Perrine Moran - Somewhere (There’s a Place for Us)…: A Cross-Cultural Approach to Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy with Intercultural and Interracial CouplesChapter 14: Damian McCann - Open & Polyamorous Relationships: Many loves or the mad hatter’s tea party!Chapter 15: Christopher Vincent - Love as a containing function in later years or its victim