All Feelings Welcome

Kelly Oriard is a mother of two and holds a dual Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and School Counseling.Callie Christensen is a mother of three and holds a Master's degree in Teaching with endorsements in Elementary Education and Special Education.

• Preface xxiLetter from the Authors xxiiiHow Slumberkins Was Born xxvAcknowledgments xxixIntroduction xxxiPart One The Theory Behind the Connect-to-Grow Approach 1One Early Emotional Learning Is Foundational 3The Magic of the Connect-to-Grow Approach 7Where Does Connect-to-Grow Come From? 8All Feelings Are Welcome 11Two Stages of Emotional Development 13Attachment Relationships 15What’s Happening in Each Stage and How Our Emotional World Is Shaped 23Stage 1: Can I Trust the World? 26Stage 2: Is It OK to Be Me? 31Stage 3: Is It OK for Me to Try New Things? 34Stage 4: What Can I Bring to the World? 36Three Expanding on Core Beliefs 39Personality Types 44Why Core Beliefs Are So Important 50Core Belief Stages 53Using Core Beliefs to Find Our Inner Voice 56Four Connect-to-Grow: Breaking Down the Approach 59Connect 63Connection to Self for Parents 63Connection to Self for Kids 65Connection Between Parent and Child 66Repair: Returning to Connection 68Reflect 71Mirroring and Reflecting: Supporting Your Child’s Feelings, Responses, and Actions 71What Does Reflection Look Like for Little and Big Kids? 72Self-Reflection and Modeling 74Try Modeling Your Own Feelings 76Practice 77How Affirmations Support Core Beliefs and the Inner Voice 78Affirmations That You Can Start Using Today 80Grow 85Incorporating Connect-to-Grow in Your Daily Life 86Before You Start Part 2 90Part Two Putting It into Practice 93Five The Connect-to-Grow Approach in Practice 95CALM Moments 98Meet the Characters 101Six Routines 109Why Routines Are So Important 112Routines Through the Ages 112Proactively Setting Up Routines and Structure 115Supporting Emerging Independence 117Affirmation 117The Bedtime Routine: Implementing Structure and Tools to Support the Process 117Your Child’s Need for Sleep 119Affirmation 121Parent Reflection Moment: Routines 121Things to Remember 122Slumberkins Character Connection: Sloth 122Seven Building Connections 123Why Connections Are So Important 125How Children Learn to Connect 126Proactively Promoting a Sense of Belonging and Building Connections 129Examples of Healthy Bonding 130Family Bonding Opportunities 130Affirmation 131Recognizing If Your Child Is Struggling 132Affirmation 133Parent Reflection Moment: Building Connections 134Things to Remember 135Slumberkins Character Connection: Otter 135Eight Mindfulness 137Why Mindfulness Is So Important 139Nurturing Mindfulness in Children 140Affirmation 143Using Mindfulness for Stress/Anxiety 143Supporting Overstimulation and Dysregulation 144Affirmation 147Parent Reflection Moment: Mindfulness 148Things to Remember 149Slumberkins Character Connection: Yeti 149Nine Emotional Courage 151Embracing Emotional Courage 153Proactively Building Emotional Courage 157Modeling Emotional Courage 158Affirmation 159Supporting a Highly Sensitive or Deeply Feeling Child 159Affirmation 161Parent Reflection Moment: Emotional Courage 162Things to Remember 163Slumberkins Character Connection: Ibex 163Ten Gratitude 165Embracing Gratitude 167Proactively Promoting Gratitude 170Shifting Away from Focus on Material Possessions 171Affirmation 172Gratitude and Nature 172Affirmation 174Parent Reflection Moment: Gratitude 174Things to Remember 175Slumberkins Character Connection: Honey Bear 175ELEVEN Self-Esteem 177Nurturing Self-Esteem in Children 179Teaching Children They Are Loved—and Lovable 181Proactively Building Positive Beliefs 183Affirmation 184Helping a Child Who Is Struggling with Self-Esteem 184Teach Kids How to Respond 185Affirmation 186Parent Reflection Moment: Self-Esteem 187Things to Remember 188Slumberkins Character Connection: Bigfoot 188TWELVE Authenticity 189Exploring Our Authentic Selves 191Parenting to Proactively Foster Authenticity 194Affirmation 196Building Authenticity When You Sense Trouble 196Understanding the Impact of Spiritual and Cultural Beliefs 198Affirmation 198Parent Reflection Moment: Authenticity 199Things to Remember 200Slumberkins Character Connection: Unicorn 200THIRTEEN Growth Mindset 201Cultivating a Growth Mindset 203Proactively Building Growth Mindset 206Using Constructive Words of Encouragement 207Words That Reinforce Effort 207Words That Highlight Potential 208Words That Foster Curiosity and Learning 208Words to Avoid 209Taking Breaks and Why They Are Important 210Affirmation 210Helping Shift a Fixed Mindset 211Teaching Kids How to Respond 211Affirmation 212Parent Reflection Moment: Growth Mindset 213Things to Remember 214Slumberkins Character Connection: Narwhal 214FOURTEEN Self-Acceptance 215Foster Self-Acceptance 217Proactively Supporting Self-Acceptance 219Modeling Self-Acceptance with Your Kids 221Accept the Things You Cannot Change 221Encourage Self-Forgiveness 221Use Positive Affirmations for Self-Compassion 222Stop Comparing Yourself to Others 222Practice, Practice, Practice 223Affirmation 223How to Support Perfectionism 223Affirmation 225Parent Reflection Moment: Self-Acceptance 225Things to Remember 226Slumberkins Character Connection: Yak 226FIFTEEN Conflict Resolution 227The Components of Conflict 229Dealing with Tantrums 231Focus on Co-regulation 232Why “Go to Your Room!” Won’t Work 234Communication During Tantrums 235Address Destructive Behavior 236Avoiding Escalation During Outbursts 236Affirmation 237Sibling Rivalry 237Peer Conflict 237Affirmation 239Parent Reflection Moment: Conflict Resolution 240Things to Remember 241Slumberkins Character Connection: Hammerhead 241SIXTEEN Change 243Supporting Change in Children’s Lives 245Learning About Family Systems 247Signs of a Healthy Family System 248Signs That a Family System Is Not Functioning Well 248Introducing a New Sibling 249Understanding a Toddler’s Reaction to a New Sibling 251Don’t Assume They’re Excited 251Affirmation 252Separation and Divorce 252How to Explain Divorce to Kids 253Impacts of the Parental Relationship on Children 253Looking Ahead to Co-Parenting 256Affirmation 257Parent Reflection Moment: Change 257Things to Remember 259Slumberkins Character Connection: Fox 259SEVENTEEN Anxiety 261What If We Reframe Anxiety? 263Signs of Stress and Anxiety in Children 267The Dos of Easing Anxiety in Kids 268The Don’ts of Trying to Easing Anxiety in Children 269Separation Anxiety 269You’re Always Connected, Even When You’re Apart 270Affirmation 271When to Seek Support 272Affirmation 273Parent Reflection Moment: Anxiety 274Things to Remember 275Slumberkins Character Connection: Alpaca 275EIGHTEEN Grief and Loss 277The Grief Process 279Proactively Introducing the Concept of Goodbyes 284Affirmation 285When You’ve Lost a Loved One 28510 Facts About Children and Grief 285How to Talk to a Child About Death 288Lesson in Supporting Someone Through Grief 288If Your Child Is Struggling with Grief/Loss 291Affirmation 293Parent Reflection Moment: Grief and Loss 293Things to Remember 294Slumberkins Character Connection: Sprite 294NINETEEN Self-Expression 295Expressing Your Needs 297Proactively Building Self-Expression Skills 300Affirmation 302If Your Child Is Struggling with Self-Expression 303Setting Boundaries 305Why Setting Boundaries Is Important for Abuse Prevention 306Help Kids to Know Their Boundaries Through Practicing These Tips at Home 306Affirmation 308Parent Reflection Moment: Self-Expression 308Things to Remember 309Slumberkins Character Connection: Lynx 310TWENTY Creativity 311Supporting Creativity 314Creativity Through the Years 315Time to Play 317Affirmation 319Importance of Imagination in Child Development 319How to Encourage Imagination in Children 320Affirmation 322Parent Reflection Moment: Creativity 322Things to Remember 323Slumberkins Character Connection: Dragon 323Use Case Guide 325Index 331