Intercultural Friendship: The Case of a Palestinian Bedouin and a Dutch Israeli Jew

Daniel J.N. Weishut, Psy.D., M.B.A. (1963), a clinical psychologist and social activist, teaches at Hadassah Academic College, Department of Social Work (Jerusalem) and the Professional School of Psychology (Sacramento). He has published on interculturality and other subjects.

"This book is a highly interesting case study of a friendship between a Palestinian Bedouin and an Israeli of Dutch origin, with autoethnography as the main methodology. This original text tells a fascinating story that contains important insights and lessons about intercultural friendship. It contributes to the application of theories of cultural dimensions and comparative study of values and to the use of such theories in qualitative research. This book will be of high relevance to social psychologists working on values, friendship and intercultural psychology; to anthropologists and to educationalists. Some parts of it can also be of interest to scholars of Israeli society and the Middle East and to scholars of conflict and peace studies." — Chen Bram, Truman Institute for the Advancement of Peace, The Hebrew University, Jerusalem and Hadassah Academic College, Jerusalem"In a world riven with strife and subject to instantaneous cross-cultural communication, how does one make peace? How does one get to ‘know’ the other? In this book, Daniel Weishut, a trained psychotherapist, a researcher with a doctorate in cultural psychology, a human rights activist, and a Dutchman who has chosen to live and serve in Israel, shares with the reader his path in getting to know another, Ahmad, a Bedouin Muslim sheikh and a Palestinian who lives on the other side of the separation wall that divides between Israelis and Palestinians. [...] As Weishut, whom I have known for many years and whose work and family I have followed for a long time, writes on p. 1, ‘The fact that someone can perceive the world in such a different way than I used to do was for me an eye-opener, even though I was trained as a psychologist’. This is true for the reader, too." — David R. Blumenthal, Emory University

• AcknowledgmentsList of IllustrationsPrologue Part 1: Autoethnography of an Intercultural FriendshipIntroduction to Part 1 1 Writing about Oneself 1 Relevance and Intent2 The Two Friends2.1 Ahmad2.2 Daniel2.3 Our Friendship3 A Case Study3.1 Narrative Research3.2 Friendship Research3.3 Case Selection4 Studying Stories4.1 Observations as Data4.2 Methodological Concerns4.3 Cultural Relativism2 When Cultures Meet 1 Identity and Value Orientations1.1 Culture and Social Identity1.2 Value Orientations2 The Intercultural Encounter2.1 Intercultural Communication2.2 Intercultural Conflict3 Honor and Aggression3.1 Face and Honor3.2 Aggression3 The Worlds We Live In 1 My World1.1 The Dutch1.2 The Israelis2 His World2.1 The Palestinian Arabs2.2 The Bedouins3 Dealing with Conflict3.1 The Israeli–Palestinian Conflict3.2 Bedouins, Law, and Conflict3.3 The “sulha”4 All about Friendship 1 Patterns of Friendship1.1 Characteristics1.2 Gender and Culture2 Intercultural Friendship2.1 Commonalities2.2 Opportunities for Interaction3 Friendship in the Realm of Conflict3.1 Jewish–Arab Dialogue3.2 The Israeli OccupationPart 2: Four Cultural DimensionsIntroduction to Part 2 5 Individualism versus Collectivism 1 Perceptions of Friendship1.1 Privacy and Togetherness1.2 Who Is a Friend?2 Getting Acquainted2.1 Names2.2 Greeting Behavior3 Meals and Celebrations3.1 Meals3.2 Celebrations4 Work Attitudes4.1 Labor and Leisure4.2 Child Labor5 Friendship and Politics5.1 The Wrong Side of Society5.2 Social Support6 Conclusion: Individualism versus Collectivism6 Uncertainty Avoidance 1 Language and Communication1.1 Verbal and Non-verbal Communication1.2 A Foreign Language2 Mine and Yours2.1 Finances and Favors2.2 Possessions3 Time and Space3.1 Flexibility of Time3.2 Flexibility of Space4 Planning4.1 Making a Plan4.2 Reaching Agreement5 Taking Risks5.1 Physical and Other Risks5.2 Giving Trust6 Conclusion: Uncertainty Avoidance7 Masculinity and Femininity 1 Women and Men1.1 Gender Roles1.2 Segregation2 Being a Man2.1 Emotional Expression2.2 Physical Appearance3 Survival of the Fittest3.1 Strength3.2 Violence4 Conclusion: Masculinity and Femininity8 Power Distance 1 Honor and Dignity1.1 Honor and the Family1.2 Dignity and Respect2 Authority2.1 Rules and Leadership2.2 The Oldest Son3 The Occupation3.1 Wealth and Poverty3.2 Freedom4 Conclusion: Power Distance9 Challenges and Opportunities 1 Hofstede’s Cultural Dimensions1.1 The Use of Hofstede’s Theory1.2 Four Dimensions2 Studying My Friendship with Ahmad2.1 Studying Our Friendship2.2 Representativeness3 Personal Growth3.1 Transformative Learning3.2 Value Change4 Implications and Recommendations4.1 Cultural Psychology4.2 Multicultural Personality4.3 Prejudice and Social InjusticeEpilogue Bibliography Index