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The Polysecure Workbook encourages examination of any attachment challenges you may have experienced in your opening up process and offers insights into how to build secure relationships. Through practical exercises, you will explore your own attachment history, examine your reasons for practicing nonmonogamy and the different styles of nonmonogamy that you relate to, and consider whether you rely on relationship structure for your attachment security. The Polysecure Workbook provides the tools needed to navigate the complexities of multiple loving relationships and to build personal security.

'Can you love more than one person?' A lot of conversations about nonmonogamy start this way. When we discuss 'opening' relationships, contemplate whether we want to be exclusive with our partners, or introduce multiple partners to friends and family, we are asking the people in our lives, and ourselves, to contend with this question. The answer is obvious, and misleading. The love one feels in their heart and the love one expresses through daily acts of care and affection are both 'love' in the true sense, but they have different requirements, present different options and produce different outcomes. More Than Two can't promise outcomes, but it is a guide to the paths-from anchor or nesting partnerships to relationship anarchy-possible within nonmonogamy. This long-awaited second edition bridges emerging theories on attachment and relationship diversity with authors Eve Rickert and Andrea Zanin's insight and experience. The arcs of nonmonogamous partnerships bend towards complexity, introspection and compromise-or at least they can, if we work at it.

What does 'consent culture' mean to you? Navigating the complex, never-ending work of culture change can be overwhelming at times. Whether you're exploring what consent means in your personal life or as part of your work in the world, Ask Yourself guides you through the introspection necessary for lasting change. In Ask: Building Consent Culture, consent culture activist Kitty Stryker compiled a diverse collection of essays from people working on questions of how to build a culture of consent in our everyday world. This timely and practical companion workbook invites you to take a journey through your own thoughts on consent and consider how you can help build consent culture. Ask Yourself guides you through a structured exploration with prompts for 28 days of journaling, conversations and other work. The prompts are split into four sections on distinct themes that allow you to explore consent at your own pace and in your own way. This thoughtful book also features short contributions from consent culture activists to help inspire reflection.

A manual for loving justly in a complex, power-laden world. A decade after the celebrated but controversial 2014 book, The New More Than Two is More Than Two for the post-#MeToo era. The entirely rewritten The New More Than Two represents a complete conceptual reorientation focused on care, mutual accountability and empathy. It rejects hyper-autonomy as a distortion of earlier polyamory discourse, introduces explicit material on abuse in a nonmonogamous context, and situates its ethical analysis within a context of systemic power structures such as gender, colonialism and race.In this transformative collaboration, Eve Rickert and Andrea Zanin bring together decades-deep lived experience, research on attachment and relationship diversity, and a justice-inflected approach to love, ethics and boundaries. You’ll find practical tools for communicating when jealousy or fear shows up, frameworks for crafting agreements that evolve, and a relational lens on power, consent, autonomy and integrity. Whether you’re solo, coupled, nested or embedded in an anarchic web of connections, this book meets you where you are. It’s also thoroughly inclusive of queer, kinky, ace, trans and nonbinary readers, and it addresses aspects of nonmonogamy that stretch well beyond romantic or sexual relationships.Drawing on the best of the original while reimagining it for a changed world, The New More Than Two is a guide for anyone seeking love that is both brave and kind.

Trauma, attachment wounds and external criticism can leave us battling a sense of shame and inadequacy that can keep us from thriving personally and in relationships. In Transforming the Shame Triangle, psychotherapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley use a synthesis of Internal Family Systems and Narrative Process to identify the three parts that they identify as the greatest barriers to achieving the life we want. The Inner Critic, Shame, and the Escaper are players in an internalized drama triangle, acting as perpetrator, victim and rescuer. Together, they create the Shame Triangle, which can trap us in ineffective survival strategies that prevent us from embracing and expressing our true selves. Through practical exercises and accessible explanations, readers are guided to shift from a state of self-critique to one of self-support-transforming the Shame Triangle to a love triangle. Using parts work, Fern and Cooley open a path to healing and transformation, building a foundation of authenticity and integrity in self and connections, and ultimately creating a more fulfilling life.

Nonmonogamy can assume many shapes, none of which can claim to be a 'safe' model of intimacy. Even the most casual of connections requires trust, and where there is trust, there is the potential for betrayal. Intimacy, exclusive or otherwise, can be exploratory or confined, collaborative or autonomous, but one thing it can never be is risk free. Yes, there is cheating in nonmonogamous relationships. There are other forms of betrayal, too: the cliquish injustices of in-group bullying, the violation of having personal information shared by a trusted partner, the humiliation of seeing someone who claimed to love you 'trade up' for a partner with more social, sexual or plain old economic capital. Trust can be broken, and in turn break people, in a great number of ways. Nonomongamy and Betrayal not only unravels the varieties of betrayal that can occur in nonomongamy, but explores pathways to recognition and healing.

Too often, the neurodivergent community is marginalized, de-sexualized or patronized. Neurodivergent people are often not seen as part of the romantic or sexual landscape, let alone as people who can have multiple partners. However, the fact that neurodivergent people do not see the world or operate within it as other people do makes nonmonogamy both uniquely challenging and uniquely well-suited to them. This book is for neurodivergent people considering or practicing nonmonogamy. Its goal is to help neurodivergent people understand how well-suited they are to the polyamorous life, and to help them recognize and manage the challenges that being neurodivergent can bring to nonmonogamy. It is also for the partners and potential partners of neurodivergent people, to encourage them to understand different perspectives and to help them be understanding, accommodating and well-informed. Nomonogamous relationships do not belong exclusively to the neurotypicals, but to us all.

Romantic groups can face many of the same challenges as friend groups or professional circles, but these more common group structures are far better understood in the wider culture. Romantic groups that include multiple partners and metamours can be intimidating and initially appear tricker to navigate. Yet they can also provide more diverse support structures, allowing each person to provide according to their abilities while being supported according to their needs. Nonmonogamy and Group Dynamics explores how to navigate issues in romantic groups and how to come to a compassionate understanding of others and ourselves. A practical handbook founded in real-life experiences, it addresses shifts in group structure, comparisons among members and differences in prioritization, and offers communication strategies and tips for resolving tension. By encouraging the reader to consider their roles and responsibilities and to reflect on their own expectations, this helpful guide empowers the reader to work toward what they want and need from their romantic groups.

Rarely does the question of death come up in discussions of nonmonogamy. But whether it's sudden or expected, nonmonogamous people must face death like anyone else-as well as its consequences on those left behind after a loved one is gone. As nonmonogamous people, how can we plan ahead for our own and our loved ones' deaths? How can we best navigate a funeral industry that may not understand our relationships, a legal system that's not set up to recognize our commitments, and a social world that can be unfriendly to grieving partners outside the monogamous model? How do we take care of ourselves and each other in times of grief and loss? In Nonmonogamy and Death, Kayden Abley leads us through these difficult and tender questions with compassion and care, providing guidance to help you find your own answers.

This long-awaited successor to the bestselling Plants of Coastal British Columbia and the Pacific Northwest features over 700 trees, shrubs, wildflowers, ferns, horsetails and lycopods of the north Pacific coast of North America.The region, stretching from southeast Alaska to northwest Oregon, is characterized by humid forests, imposing mountains, muscular rivers, serene and stormy seas, and myriad islands, beaches, wetlands, and meadows.Authors Jim Pojar and Andy MacKinnon, field botanists and forest ecologists who each have 50 years of experience in the region, are joined for this brand-new, fully updated field guide by two colleagues: ethnobotanist Leigh Joseph (Styawat), of the Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish) Nation, and botanist and biodiversity specialist Jamie Fenneman.This user-friendly book focuses on the vascular plants—their identification, description, ecology, and traditional uses—of the coastal ecosystems of northwest North America. It describes the plants of the region’s temperate rainforests, dry-belt lowland forests, cool subalpine forests, and non-forested habitats from tidewater to alpine, including some common introduced species. The species descriptions are packed with colour photos, range maps, and illustrations.Plants of the Pacific Coast is organized by life form so that species that resemble one another appear in the same group. Within the major sections—Trees, Shrubs, Wildflowers, Aquatics, Graminoids (grasses and grass-like plants), Ferns and Relatives—plants are organized by family. The field guide’s opening section includes an introduction to the region’s physical environment; a description of its plant cover; an overview of regional biodiversity, ecological resilience, and climate change; and an exploration of regional ethnobotany, with insights into Indigenous plant knowledge, uses, and ecosystem management. This comprehensive guide includes up-to-date taxonomy, keys, hundreds of colour photos, ethnobotanical essays, and engaging notes. It will appeal to anyone interested in the region’s rich and diverse plant life.

The odds of salvaging your marriage in the wake of addiction may seem fairly bleak. Couples who struggle with substance abuse in one or both partners have a divorce rate of about half. Statistically, a relationship is more likely to survive the loss of a child. Outpatient rehabilitation is a multi-billion business in the United States, and tens of thousands of active support groups exist to help people recover from addictions. With such resources available, why is sustaining a marriage post-sobriety such a riddle? As Christopher Dale discovered, the 'cure' can be as stressful as addiction. Recovery is a life-long process that brings permanent changes to both those battling substance abuse and their long-term partners. Accepting the loss of the marriage they had before his sobriety allowed Christopher and his wife to recommit to a new form of relationship-one based on an honest outlook of recovery. That journey is documented, in all its trials, traumas and successes, so that other couples who find their connection buckling under the weight of addiction- and recovery- have a path and process to becoming Better Halves.

In the beginning, there was no name for it. The act was lumped in with general anal sex and general strap-on sex. But perhaps seeing a hole that needed filling, an online contest was held to name the act. When the dust had settled, the word was clear and the world was changed. Pegging: A sex act in which the pegger anally penetrates the pegee with a strap-on dildo. Authors Cooper S. Beckett and Lyndzi Miller tackle all you've ever wanted to know about pegging. How do we do it? What are the right tools for the job? Does it actually feel good? I'm a straight guy, will pegging make me gay? They answer these questions and also talk about safety, male anatomy and the health benefits of being pegged. Beckett and Miller guide you through your experimentation with this most excellent act in a friendly and conversational fashion, showing you an in-depth look between the cheeks.

Millions of people worldwide are coping with depression. Whether it's you, a family member, a friend or a partner - odds are depression affects your life. Even so, many of us don't know what to do when it hits someone we care about. JoEllen Notte challenges the preconceived notions that keep us from showing up for each other in a meaningful way and offers strategies for supporting each other and ourselves when depression comes calling. Challenging the notions that tell us 'that's not my business' or 'they probably don't want to talk about that,' In It Together equips readers to navigate depression alongside the people they care about. Informed by interviews with over 200 people coping with depression and featuring practical tips and real-life examples, In it Together is an insightful and much-needed guidebook for people with depression and those who love them.

As polyamory continues to make its way into the mainstream, more and more people are exploring consensual nonmonogamy in the hope of experiencing more love, connection, sex, freedom, and support. While for many, the move expands personal horizons, for others, the transition can be challenging, leaving them blindsided and overwhelmed. Beyond the initial transition to nonmonogamy, many struggle with the root issues beneath the symptoms of broken agreements, communication challenges, increased fighting, and persistent jealousy. Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern shares the insights she has gained through thousands of hours working with clients in consensually nonmonogamous relationships. Using a grounded theory approach, she explores the underlying challenges that nonmonogamous individuals and partners can experience after their first steps, offering practical strategies for transforming them into opportunities for new levels of clarity and intimacy. Polywise provides both the conceptual framework to better understand the shift from monogamy to nonmonogamy and the tools to navigate the next steps, allowing you to not just survive in open relationships, but thrive in them.

The love story we're all familiar with ends with '...and they lived happily ever after.' But how often do we hear a nonmonogamous love story with that ending? In all kinds of contexts, nonmonogamous happiness is erased. From the ubiquitous 'friend who tried it once and it didn't end well' to Dan Savage's long-term jokes about never being invited to a polyamorous third wedding anniversary, we are repeatedly assured that nonmonogamy leads to misery. In 'real' love, we are taught to expect the opposite: to expect happiness. When we want to ask if someone's relationship is going well, we ask if they are 'happy with' their partner. We might even ask whether their partner makes them happy. But what does love have to do with happiness? Doesn't love have space to accommodate the full range of emotional experience? Carrie Jenkins thinks it does, or at least it can. She draws connections between the expectation that love will make us happy and the undue focus on positive emotions to the exclusion of 'negative' ones. She argues that love-monogamous or otherwise-might better aim at being eudaimonic than at being happy, and that we have a better chance of achieving this if we are able to make relationship choices free from the prejudices and distortions that lead to an unduly rosy view of monogamy and an unduly miserable picture of the alternatives.

Educators are often overworked, underpaid and at the crosshairs of every cultural debate. Teachers dedicate themselves to creating safe, nurturing environments for students, but are themselves subjected to levels of personal scrutiny practically unseen in other professions. In some careers, keeping a picture of your loved ones on your desk isn't worth a second thought. For teachers with nontraditional families, it can come with the risk of becoming a political football. Informed by her firsthand experience as a nonmonogamous educator, Ashley Speed examines the typical objections raised about nonmonogamous people teaching children, how to refute them and how to navigate some of the difficulties of being a nonmonogamous teacher in today's stormy political waters. It also offers practical advice for administrators and parents who want to support nonmonogamous teachers, and tips for teachers on how to make their classrooms friendly for kids from nonmonogamous families.

Polyamory can be fun, sweet and even liberating. But ethical nonmonogamy can also take work. In A Polyamory Devotional, relationship coach Evita 'Lavitaloca' Sawyers streamlines the vast abstractions of 'working on yourself' into a guided tour of rigorous self-reflection. Building upon her wealth of experience in fostering the journey from monogamy to nonmonogamy, Sawyers invites you to ask yourself the big questions. Can compersion and jealousy coexist? How do we hold space for hurt we didn't cause? Through 365 daily prompts, you are encouraged to develop the tools of emotional diligence that will serve you for a lifetime. For those eager to love authentically but overwhelmed by the emotional process of polyamory, this is your reminder that you don't have to do it alone.

Millions of people worldwide are coping with depression. In this bundle of her two books to date, JoEllen Notte shares practical tips and real-life experiences of depression. Informed by interviews with over 200 people, The Monster Under the Bed is a practical exploration of how to navigate sex and relationships while coping with depression, and In It Together is an insightful and much-needed guidebook for people with depression and those who love them.

This bundle of two books includes Ask: Building Consent Culture, a collection of essays exploring the role of consent in confronting power structures in day-to-day life, and Ask Yourself: The Consent Culture Workbook, a practical workbook that uses 28 daily prompts to encourage readers to explore consent at their own pace and in their own way, with the insights of consent culture activists to help inspire reflection along the way.

What even is 'sexy,' and how do you do it? A tough question for trans and nonbinary queers struggling to find their sexual selves in a landscape rife with misogynistic, transphobic and homophobic ideals and expectations. In How Do I Sexy? Mx. Nillin Lore provides affirming and helpful direction based on over a decade of their own personal and professional experience as an educator, advocate, support worker and award-winning sex blogger. You're invited to do some deep introspection, find a look that feels right and gain insight on sexiness from fellow trans and nonbinary queers. You'll also find valuable tips on navigating dating sites, finding community, managing rejection with grace and engaging in sexual relationships. Principled and compassionate, Mx. Nillin Lore will help you figure out who you want to be, who you want to be with and how to make it happen-both in the streets and between the sheets.

Nonmonogamy has exploded in popularity over recent decades, spawning dozens of how-to guides and countless media articles. But quietly, in the wake of this wave of non-traditional relationships, a growing number of people have moved away from the nonmonogamy they once practiced. It's not about rejecting nonmonogamy as bad or wrong. For some, trauma or the stresses of everyday life got in the way of multiple committed relationships; others lost their motivation to pursue new partners. Some ended up monogamous by attrition, and others are single by choice. What's it like on the other side of nonmonogamy? How did you get there? How does your life reflect what you learned along the way? Is nonmonogamy an identity or a practice? And do you think you might ever jump back in? Post-Nonmonogamy and Beyond invites you to explore these questions in a spirit of self-reflection, self-compassion and curiosity.

What does nonmonogamy allow other than the freedom to love whoever you wish to love? For Zara Shah, nonmonogamy allows greater freedom of social interaction and a richer view of intimacy. It allows not only more choices for sexual and romantic partners, but also greater range in hobbies, careers and friendships. Nonmonogamy has allowed Shah-a Pakistani woman who immigrated to Canada and a sex worker in a nonmonogamous relationship-to push the boundaries of what sexual intimacy means to relationships. Being in a committed, nonmonogamous relationship helped her appreciate nuance in sexuality, love and human behaviour. Through redefining sex and love, she was able to discover a level of confidence that has enabled her to be successful in the sex industry and to not be ashamed of the nature of the work, despite enduring social stigma. Through the lens of this experience, Shah discusses economics and sex work, intimacy and sex work, nonmonogamy and religious and social conflict, social rejection and nonmonogamy, the intersection between nonmonogamous and sex work communities, nonmonogamy and sexual health, and the impact of sex work on mental health.

Balancing a devotion to activism with personal relationships can be incredibly difficult. Kitty Stryker shares her experience as an activist, street medic, and relationship educator to help others pursue the important work while maintaining healthy relationships and without burning out. Both a call to action and a candid memoir, Stryker is open about what she has learned and her perceived limitations. Recognizing that it can feel overwhelming to know how to effectively make change, she encourages readers to consider how they can best advocate for causes they believe in, presenting different types of activism, and urging readers to honestly examine their own hesitations. She also emphasizes that without taking care of our interpersonal relationships, many people burn out of activism at the very time when we need more people on the ground, and offers practical strategies to avoid this and to encourage healthy relationships.

Exploring nonmonogamy can require us to shift our worldview and deconstruct what we've been taught about relationship dynamics. However, it is difficult to defy paradigms while also existing within them-even as we strive to unlearn established norms, we can find ourselves unintentionally reproducing the principles of paradigms like mononormativity in our nonmonogamous relationships. In a society where monogamy is established as normal and reinforced through legal systems and cultural etiquette, this is not surprising. By examining prevalent cultural norms and values, and presenting real-life examples of mononormativity's impact, Marla Schreiber encourages readers to consider their own preconceptions and guides them towards effectively defying mononormativity and other intersecting paradigms.

Queerphobic and transphobic messaging can arrive from nearly any direction, and once queer and trans people are exposed to the fear, disgust and judgement people have for otherness, it can easily fester into internalized oppression. In a society that promotes the narrative of self-loathing queers, loving and accepting ourselves can be hard to imagine, let alone achieve. Author and activist Mx. Nillin Lore has first-hand insight into the complex inner journey of decluttering the guilt, shame and anxiety that can feed our inner discriminator and in Carry On, they provide a guided expedition through the source material of our own erasure. A self-reflective journey and a toolset for dismantling inflammatory inner frameworks, this is a practical and encouraging guide for those ready and willing to unpack their internalized queerphobic and transphobic baggage.

Heteronormativity and misconceptions around sexuality and gender expression persist even in nonmonogamous communities. Queer and gender-diverse people can find it intimidating to navigate dating and socializing in these scenes. In Nonmonogamy and Queer Inclusivity, Mx. Nillin Lore, author of the award-winning How Do I Sexy? A Guide for Trans and Nonbinary Queers, encourages cisgender and heterosexual nonmonogamous folks to consider their own preconceptions and provides them with practical advice on how to do better. By intentionally organizing more inclusive events, fostering respectful spaces and actively supporting marginalized community members, nonmonogamous folks of all genders and sexualities can create stronger, more diverse and safer nonmonogamous communities. Lore draws on their personal experience and observation as an educator, event planner and outreach worker to provide an introduction to queer identity, challenge some of the myths and misconceptions about gender diversity, and provide guidance on how to make nonmonogamous social gatherings a little less scary for all.

At 23, Theresa Kishkan met an artist who became obsessed with her. She was young, she was flattered, and the situation quickly overwhelmed her. He drew and painted her for a few months, after which she went away for a year. When she returned, she was determined not to resume the relationship. But the artist made contact with her after the birth of her first child and became a family friend, bringing gifts of paintings. Those images hung in Theresa's home, and one in particular reminded her almost daily of her younger self, in ways both positive and not so much. She avoided looking too closely at his images of her and at his long, passionate and often troubling letters. Decades later, while sorting old correspondence, she was taken back to those early days and began, at last, to write about her relationship with the now-deceased artist. The Art of Looking Back is a meditation on the male gaze, on reclaiming one's younger self, and on agency: how we lose it, how we find it again. This poetic memoir asks questions about older men and younger women and girls, and the persistence of that dynamic in art.

A deeply personal, provocative portrait of how race, culture and sexuality intersect to reshape what it means to be an Asian man in North America today. What does it mean to be an Asian man in North America? In this timely and insightful memoir, Ryan Cho unpacks ideas about masculinity and Asian men in a world of stereotypes and social expectations. Drawing from his own experiences and interviews with other Asian men and nonbinary people, Cho explores how culture, sexuality and race combine to influence identity. Along the way, he meets people redefining what masculinity means to them and discusses what we can do to steward a version of masculinity that is inclusive, progressive and authentic.Candid, challenging and personal, Brotherhood is a Constant Possibility invites readers to question the roles Asian men have been “allowed” to play and to imagine broader and more nuanced ways of thinking about masculinity and men.

A fierce, lucid meditation on the ethics and ecstasies of power.What are we doing when we erotically dominate another? Most kink resources focus on technique, safety and consent while overlooking less tangible elements that are equally important in defining the shape and quality of a scene. Informed by Métatron Lau’s years of first-hand experience as a dominant, The Fundamentals of Erotic Dominance explores skills that are often absent in mainstream kink education. In this groundbreaking work, Lau dismantles the mechanics of kink to uncover its deeper truths: trust, reciprocity, vulnerability and the raw intelligence of the body. Moving beyond manuals, she explores what happens when people enter the unpredictable space of power and surrender, and how that space can support greater attunement, eroticism and transformation. Aimed at people with some experience of kink and looking for the language to discuss the subtler aspects of BDSM, this thoughtful resource blends theory, practice and cultural critique to articulate a new ethic of erotic power. In Lau’s vision, domination is not control for its own sake but a form of radical attention—one that restores connection between mind and body, self and other, suffering and joy.