Emotions and Social Behavior – serie

Throughout history, unrequited love has inspired ballads, arias, poetry, drama, and literature. Almost always, however, the tale of the star-crossed lovers has been told from the point of view of the heartbroken pursuer. This illuminating new work explores unrequited love from both sides--that of the aspiring and eventually brokenhearted lover, and more unusually, that of the beloved, unwilling rejector. Based on systematically collected first-person accounts, BREAKING HEARTS shows how radically different and often contradictory the two experiences actually are.Blending scientific research with vivid narrative, the book utilizes current psychological theories about relationships, interdependence, attachment, and communication to provide careful analysis of the sometimes amusing and often heartrending stories people tell about their love lives. The central focus is the subjective experience: What it feels like to love someone who does not love you in return, and what is it like to be pursued by someone whose attentions you wish to discourage. Demolishing pat theories about human fulfillment coming from loving or being loved, this valuable counterweight to traditional studies explores the other, darker side of love to show that it is the mutuality of affection that is crucial to happiness.A particularly valuable feature of BREAKING HEARTS is its unprecedented treatment of the rejector's experience. Known only from the unreliable perspective of the would-be lover, the elusive heartbreaker has remained an enigma. Here, perhaps for the first time, rejectors tell what it is like to be loved in vain. They describe their inner turmoil, pervasive uncertainty about how to act, and distressed reluctance to inflict harm. They grapple with the paradox of believing themselves to be morally innocent yet feeling profoundly guilty, and describe powerful feelings of exasperation and helplessness when the admirer refuses to take no for an answer. Contrary to stereotypes, the rejectors describe their experiences more negatively than the heartbroken lovers. For the would-be lover, the encounter was a high-stakes gamble, with possible outcomes ranging from tortured pain and humiliation to ecstatic bliss and fulfillment. To the rejector, it was a no-win proposition that offered only vexation and trouble. Throughout, chapters deal with the separate roller-coaster ordeals of two people--the ups and downs of self-esteem, struggles over guilt and justification, and the systematically discrepant versions of what actually occurred. Lessons people learn from being either willing or unwilling participants in unrequited love are discussed, as are the ways in which they change following such episodes.BREAKING HEARTS presents careful research in an engaging style that will be accessible to all. Social scientists interested in marriage, family issues, emotion, self esteem, guilt, and human coping will find the book illuminating. It will obviously be of interest to anyone who has experienced unrequited love, and is fascinating reading for those seeking new insights into the tragicomic mystery of romance.

Throughout history, unrequited love has inspired ballads, arias, poetry, drama, and literature. Almost always, however, the tale of the star-crossed lovers has been told from the point of view of the heartbroken pursuer. This illuminating new work explores unrequited love from both sides--that of the aspiring and eventually brokenhearted lover, and more unusually, that of the beloved, unwilling rejector. Based on systematically collected first-person accounts, BREAKING HEARTS shows how radically different and often contradictory the two experiences actually are.

Social anxiety is a pervasive part of everyday life. Whether experienced during public speaking, in casual conversation, or in interactions with a boss, a potential romantic partner, or a complete stranger, feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and awkwardness are often the consequence of quite ordinary encounters. Why does social anxiety occur? Why are some people more prone to it than others? A complete and authoritative review of the latest theory and research, this book examines the situational, dispositional, and evolutionary causes of social anxiety, its physiological, cognitive, and emotional aspects, and strategies for prevention and treatment. Special features include scales for measuring different manifestations of social anxiety as well as concise boxed segments highlighting topics of particular interest.

Much has been learned about mood and temperament in recent years--yet until now, investigations into these domains have remained relatively distinct and disconnected. This groundbreaking volume presents a comprehensive framework for understanding short-term mood fluctuations and their relationship to longer-term differences in temperament and emotionality. David Watson integrates key findings from both literatures within the context of his own ongoing 20-year research program on daily mood. Illuminated are the basic properties of everyday moods, the processes that produce change, and the connections between affective experience, personality, health, and psychopathology. Providing a clear summary and synthesis of a vast body of knowledge, this unique book will be of interest to readers across a wide range of psychological disciplines.

Emotional expression is the link between internal experience and the outside world. It is intimately connected to who we are, how we feel, and how we relate to others. In daily life, expression enables people to communicate with each other and influence relationships; in psychotherapy, it provides important information about how clients are feeling and how they are relating to the therapist. This lucid volume examines expressions of such feelings as love, anger, and sadness, and highlights the individual and interpersonal processes that shape emotional behavior. It offers a lively and comprehensive discussion of the role of emotional expression and nonexpression in individual adaptation, social interaction, and therapeutic process.Drawing upon extensive theory and research, the authors provide coherent guidelines to help clinicians, researchers, and students identify, conceptualize, and treat problems in emotional behavior. They show that expression and nonexpression come in many different forms, with a wide range of personal and relational consequences. The effects of expressing one's feelings depend on what is expressed, to whom, in what way, and in what context. Expression can lead to greater self-knowledge, enhanced coping, and fuller intimacy, but it can also result in embarrassment, misunderstanding, or rejection. Conversely, nonexpression can involve a frustrating lack of opportunity to express, or problems in accessing or articulating feelings, but it can also reflect cultural values or effective coping efforts. Through vivid clinical examples, the authors illuminate a range of problems related to both expression and nonexpression, and provide insight into how these can be addressed in individual and couple therapy.This practical and clearly written guide is an important resource for teachers, students, and researchers of clinical, counseling, social, personality, and health psychology, as well as practicing counselors and psychotherapists. It will also serve as a text in advanced undergraduate and graduate-level courses on emotion and interpersonal communication, and in graduate-level counseling and psychotherapy seminars.

Shame and guilt, while the focus of attention among scholars and clinicians for generations, have only recently been subjected to systematic empirical scrutiny. This volume reports on the growing body of knowledge on these key self-conscious emotions, integrating findings from the authors' original research program with other data emerging from social, clinical, personality, and developmental psychology. Writing in an engaging, accessible style, June Price Tangney and Ronda L. Dearing offer a coherent new scientific perspective on shame and guilt. Compelling evidence is presented to demonstrate that these universally experienced affective phenomena have significant--and surprisingly disparate--implications for many aspects of human functioning, with particular relevance for interpersonal relationships.

Emotional intelligence has emerged as an area of intense interest in both scientific and lay circles. Yet while much attention has been given to the measurement of an EQ, little has been written about the psychological underpinnings of emotional intelligence. This book fills an important gap in the literature, linking the ideas embodied in the emotional intelligence concept to ongoing research and theoretical work in the field of affect science. Chapters by foremost investigators illuminate the basic processes by which people perceive and appraise emotion, use emotion to facilitate thought, understand and communicate emotion concepts, and manage their own and others' emotions. Incorporating many levels of analysis, from neuroscience to culture, the volume develops a broader scientific basis for the idea of emotional intelligence. It also raises stimulating new questions about the role of emotion in adaptive personal and social functioning.

Ostracism is among the most powerful means of social influence. From schoolroom time-outs or the silent treatment from a family member or friend, to governmental acts of banishment or exile, ostracism is practiced in many contexts, by individuals and groups. This lucidly written book provides a comprehensive examination of this pervasive phenomenon, exploring the short- and long-term consequences for targets as well as the functions served for those who exclude or ignore. Within a cogent theoretical framework, an exemplary research program is presented that makes use of such diverse methods as laboratory experiments, surveys, narrative accounts, interviews, Internet-based research, brief role-plays, and week-long simulations. The resulting data shed new light on how ostracism affects the individual's coping responses, self-esteem, and sense of belonging and control. Informative and timely, this book will be received with interest by researchers, practitioners, and students in a wide range of psychological disciplines.